Are You Guilty of Hyper-Parenting?by Michele Cheplic | More from this Blogger 17 Feb 2009 06:01 AM As if we needed yet another label to slap on parents who are actively involved in their children's lives... Introducing... the Hyper-Parent. No cape involved, just a well-used minivan that has accrued thousand of miles from carting kids to football, gymnastics, ballet, swimming, tennis, art, soccer, hockey, karate, piano, and foreign language classes. A decade ago these types of parents were considered "pushy" for over scheduling their offspring. But these days they're considered "hyper," though the definitions of each are quite similar. The criticism is pretty much the same too. Rather than applaud these moms and dads for taking an active role in their child's well-being and wanting them to get ahead in life, some critics believe the only reason hyper-parents are sending their kids off to learn another language or a musical instrument (or two) is because they are trying to live out some kind of selfish dream of their own via their sons and daughters. Living vicariously through your child is a no-no, according to childhood experts. Their advice: Dads, instead of making your reluctant son attend football practice that he can't stand, sign him up for something he is interested in doing. And moms, rather than force your tomboy-ish daughter into a tutu that she detests, take time to discuss activities that she wants to participate in. Clearly, this is not rocket science. However, I think it does beg the question: How much is too much for a child to take on? After all, I have my daughter enrolled in a litany of different activities--all of which she thoroughly enjoys. On the flipside, the driving back and forth to different activities does get to be a pain from time to time and I do have to employ some advanced math to budget for all her "fun and educational" extra-curricular activities. Still, I wouldn't consider myself a hyper-parent since I am not the one expressing interest in the activities. I consider myself more a facilitator of sorts given that my daughter is just 4 years old and there's no way she could research or sign-up for these classes by herself. If she could, she would be enrolled in four times the amount of classes she's presently in. So, might I suggest we ease off the stereotype? Parents, who cart their children around to an obscene number of activities, know, in their hearts, whether they are doing it for themselves or their children. Are you incorrectly labeled as a hyper-parent? Related Articles: How Often Do You Yell at Your Kids? When Did You Start Appreciating Your Parents? Becoming the Mom You Never Thought You'd Be The Great Stroller Debate--Preschool Edition Kids and Movies: How Young is Too Young? Learn more about Michele Cheplic  Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism. Relevantparenting tags User Comments Zinglady (5) 25 Feb 2009 01:00 PMThere is a dichotomy in modern day parenting between intentional, conscientious parenting and intensive, hyper-parenting. This issue speaks to me personally, as a child educator and advocate. While I believe and write about thoughtful and engaged parenting, I also believe children need to explore, test, and experience natural consequences to their choices. I strike a balance that seems to be unexpected, and therefore often misinterpreted, that's passionate about children and their development but not obsessed with my child's every step and stumble. Emily Geizer  Michele Cheplic (37339) 26 Feb 2009 07:29 AMI agree Emily, it's a fine line (at least in today's society) between being conscientious and being "hyper." I applaud all the parents out there who shun critics and foster their child in the way that works best for that particular child. A passionate and involved parent knows what is best for his/her child.  Mary Ann Romans (26876) 26 Feb 2009 09:41 AMI couldn't imagine carting my child off to several activities a week, especially at four. It just isn't conducive to our family nor the best choice for us. But I also don't think other parents should be criticized for doing this, if it fits them and their child isn't overwhelmed. Community Tags hyper-parent, Kids, parent, worrying Discuss this article
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