Search Results for: blog ask yourselfis this behavior intentional

Expressing Oneself Means Less Acting Out

I am a big believer in the power of language and communication. I think when we give our children the gift of being able to talk about things and empower them with the communication skills and freedom to express their feelings and opinions, they are less likely to act out with negative behaviors. Kids (and grownups too) who can talk about what is going on in terms of emotional distress or concerns are less likely to need to act out as a coping mechanism. When I say “act out” I am referring to attention-seeking behaviors or aggression or other behavior … Continue reading →

When a Child is Noncommunicative and Isolating

A certain amount of moodiness is to be expected in some kids. While some might be moody and crabby youngsters, others hit that “isolation” phase when they get into the adolescent years. For a parent, it can be tough to know what is normal, what is personality, and when to worry that things are getting to be a little too much? Some children really are naturally more nonverbal and not the most eager of communicators. Over the years, I believe that a parent does get to know his or her child’s personality and we just start “sensing” when things are … Continue reading →

Taking Away Privileges—Making it Work

Once children graduate from the preschool, “time out” phase, the world of discipline can open up for a parent. One of the tried and true methods for many families is the taking away of privileges. This could mean restricting activities, taking away items or possessions, or “grounding.” But, like all discipline techniques—it doesn’t work for every child and it isn’t always appropriate. AND, it can be overused and lose its effectiveness. I think that any discipline technique loses its effectiveness when it is overused. Often, taking away privileges becomes the ONLY thing that parents do and eventually, a child learns … Continue reading →

Balancing Expectations With Reality

Having expectations is not necessarily a bad thing. After all, our expectations can guide us in the direction of our dreams, help us strive to become better people and develop new skills, and expectations can be a form of hope that gives us reason to get up in the mornings. It is also natural for parents to have expectations when it comes to their children—behavior, academics, sports, talent, etc. can all be areas where we carry expectations for our children. It is important, however, to find a way to balance our expectations with reality. In moderation, I think that letting … Continue reading →

When a Child Has Too Much Exaggerated or Inappropriate Fear

Children experience fear (just as we adults do too) and “being afraid” of all sorts of things is quite common for children. Some children, certainly, are more fearful than others. Still, if a parent taps into his or her intuition, there can be times when a child seems to have “too much” fear—or the fears seem overwhelming, exaggerated or inappropriate. These are times when a parent needs to intervene and try to find out what is really going on. Often times, you will be able to trace the exaggerated fear to something that has happened. When my eldest daughter was … Continue reading →