Blended Families and the United Front

by Nicole Humphrey | More from this Blogger

23 Oct 2008 05:18 PM

Blended families certainly present a unique set of challenges that a traditional family may or may not face. One of those said challenges can be the lack of a United Front. One of the situations I see often when helping a blended family, is a serious lack of united fronts on the behalf of the parents. They assume that things will just work out and given time, everyone will see eye to eye.

This is simply not the case.

The children in a blended family seem to take on a divide and conquer attitude which is usually the divide amongst their biological parent, and their step parent. They are experts at this, and they know that their biological parent has a stronger relationship with them. Essentially this leads to the problems that many parents face in a blended family.

If parents don't come prepared with a plan on how to best ward off these problems, there can be serious consequences later. It is important for both parents to sit down and set ground rules that need to be followed by every child in the home.

You need to discuss bedtimes, eating schedules, chores, toys, allowances and other financial situations, dating, telephone calls, and plenty more. The rules need to be agreed upon and then acted on accordingly. No child should get special privileges just because. Situations will arise where circumstances might warrant a change in the traditional set of rules, but they should be on a case by case basis, and honestly they shouldn't be happening frequently.

The parents having a united front when it comes to said rules, is key to keeping the family on track. In addition, any changes or conversations that need to be discussed need to be done so in private and not around the kids.

Blended families tend to be all about what is fair and trying to keep things consistent and fair is the key to a smoother running household.

Learn more about Nicole Humphrey

Nicole Humphrey is a freelance writer, consultant for CTMH and a Sr. Blogger for families.com. She resides in St. Charles, Missouri with Mike and their five children and two furbabies.

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