When Good Kids Go Bad

Acting out after a parent’s divorce is normal for many children. They are still young and haven’t yet learned how to cope with the changes they are being faced with. They may simply be trying to express their fears and frustrations, but haven’t found a way to communicate them effectively, and are thus acting out in a way to express their feelings. While you may feel guilty that your children are behaving this way, this is in no way a reflection on your parenting. Good kids make bad choices sometimes, your job is just to help guide them back onto … Continue reading

Adding Insult to Injury

How low can you go? Imagine the joy associated with conceiving and carrying triplets to term, then dealing with the unspeakable horror of never getting to see, speak or smother them with love. Welcome to Abbie Dorn’s life. The 34-year-old mother of healthy 5-year-old triplets suffered severe brain damage in June 2006 when a doctor accidentally cut her uterus during delivery. Dorn lost a tremendous amount of blood thanks to the doctor’s mistake. In addition, her heart stopped on the delivery table, but when doctors tried to resuscitate her the defibrillator they used malfunctioned and Dorn’s brain suffered major trauma … Continue reading

Borderline Personality Disorder: Joanie’s Story

In our continuing series on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) (see links below), we will look today at the story of Joanie. Joanie began to display the initial symptoms of BPD when she was in her late teens but was not formally diagnosed with the disorder for several years. As is typical of persons suffering BPD, Joanie’s personality is essentially unstable, with inexplicable mood swings and rapid changes in her view of her own self. Hence her “apparent” self esteem could range from being very outgoing and confident to being self absorbed and unsure of herself. In reality, Joanie has low … Continue reading

Don’t Let Guilt Get the Better of You

Guilt can be a destructive emotion. It can take over and overwhelm us. Don’t let guilt get the better of you. It’s easy said but sometimes not so easy to do. We all feel at times that we let people down, or that we don’t behave the way we should. As we’ve no doubt discovered, there will always be those to criticize and heap guilt on you. This can happen when we don’t do what other people expect us to or think we should. It can happen when, despite our best intentions, plans don’t work out and we are not … Continue reading

Is Your Conscience Helping or Hurting Your Parenting?

I have to admit that sometimes in the world of parenting my conscience can be a bit help—it spurs me on to do the right thing and helps guide me in making decent decisions on behalf of my children. Other times, however, my conscience can eat me alive! Oh, that guilt that tends to come from someplace outside myself and settles in to make me feel horrible! There are definitely times when my conscience is more of a bother than a help… For example, I have become rather sensitive to the Green Police and every time I consider throwing away … Continue reading

Values Shouldn’t Be a Secret

You may feel pretty secure in knowing what you value and what you are trying to pass on to your child—but does your child know? Often, we just assume that our children will absorb our values and learn to see the world the way we want them too. Of course, our children do develop into people of their own with their own minds and values, but how will they know what WE value, unless we share that with them? Recently, I reacted to something one my children said by saying, “We’re not that sort of a family!” and she answered … Continue reading

Teaching Kids About Spreading Rumors

Now that school is back in session that means that many children’s social lives shift into high gear. One of the major developmental opportunities that comes from school is that children can learn how to interact with different people, make friends, resolve conflicts, and also learn how to get along in social situations. Many of those lessons (like so many of life’s lessons) are learned the hard way—through painful and bumpy experience. Learning about the perils of gossip and rumors is just one of the lessons of childhood socialization. Children need to be taught that spreading rumors is unacceptable. Spreading … Continue reading

Point Out Behaviors in Other Kids You LIKE

It seems that what we notice when we are out and about it things we don’t like or we don’t approve of. It is easy to take notice of a child who is misbehaving or someone who is rude in line at the grocery store. By pointing these out and giving attention to poor social behaviors, we might be hoping to show our kids how we hope they do NOT behave, but we might have more success by pointing out behaviors that we do approve of and that do seem appropriate… Not only is it just more positive to point … Continue reading

Can You Help Your Child Get a Conscience?

There have been times over the years when I’ve been downright worried about whether one of my children would ever develop a conscience about his or her behavior. It’s happened with all of my three children at one time or another and I can assure you that while we still have a few bumps, overall, they do have a conscience about their behavior and how they interact with others. BUT, it hasn’t been a linear path and there have been days when I was mighty worried… Maybe there are some children who are born with a well-developed conscience, but it … Continue reading

Sunkist “Take a Stand” Free Lemonade Stand

Do you remember running a lemonade stand when you were a kid? I do. Of course, any money that we made was less than my mom paid for the Kool-Aid and sugar that we used. Yep, lemonade without lemons. As a parent, it’s rare that I let my kids drink that stuff, but as a fundraiser it was a blast. Sunkist remembers. They’re offering free lemonade stands (you don’t even have to pay for shipping!) for children ages 7 and 12 who want to “Take a Stand” for charity. The stand includes: 56”x 27” cardboard Lemonade Stand with instructions Citrus … Continue reading