Can You Miss Your Kids Too Much?by Michele Cheplic | More from this Blogger 31 Aug 2008 11:06 PM You've heard of carsickness, airsickness and homesickness, but how many of you are familiar with the term "kidsickness?" I had never heard of such a thing until my friend's daughter returned from summer camp a few weeks ago. Apparently, "kidsickness" is the new "it" phrase these days. It describes the overwhelming feeling of distress a parent experiences when their child is gone for an extended amount of time. I have little doubt that the medical community doesn't consider this condition a serious matter, but still it's worth examining. According to the little pamphlet my friend's daughter returned home with, more than 10 million children attend various summer camps each year. That means there are at least 10-20 million parents out there who are left to adjust to life without Johnny, Jamie or Jezebel for weeks at a time every summer. And you thought the kids were the ones having a hard time adjusting... According to camp leaders, while kids may experience some homesickness, it's the parents that are really struggling to adapt, especially the ones who share a strong bond with their offspring. Hence the word "kidsickness." My friend's daughter was gone for six weeks, but she has two younger kids at home who did not attend sleep away camp. While she gave me updates on how her oldest daughter was faring at camp I don't remember a time when she bemoaned the fact that she was there. My feeling was that she was happy to know that her daughter was safe and having a good time, and really I don't recall her saying much more than that. However, according to this camp pamphlet my friend's daughter let me borrow (mind you my daughter won't be eligible for sleep away camp for another decade--thank goodness), parents who are used to checking in with their children on a daily (and in some cases hourly) basis can feel an emptiness when that communication abruptly stops. That emptiness, according to the folks at The American Camp Association, can leave parents feeling sad and alone. Fortunately, there are ways to overcome these morose feelings. According to the ACA, parents experiencing "kidsickness" should focus on the positive. Think about the great times your kids are having at camp and the wonderful memories they are making. Next, remember that separation is natural and necessary to help your child succeed later in life. Another tip: While your kids are off having a good time, distract yourself with some fun activities--attend a movie, see a play, meet up with friends or tackle a project you might not be able to do because you are always taking care of the kids. Finally, if you're really struggling, experts suggest sharing your feelings with other people. Find parents who send their kids to camp regularly and get coping strategies from them. Have you ever suffered from "kidsickness?" Related Articles: A Mother's View from the Pool-Bikinis on Babies? A Mother's View from the Pool: Why are you Wearing Crocs in the Water? Learn more about Michele Cheplic  Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism. Relevantparenting tags User Comments pamperigouste (75) 01 Sep 2008 01:13 PMFifteen years ago my daughters, who were 19 and 22 decided that they would go on an adventure. I was thrilled that they wanted to head off together and waited impatiently to hear their plans. I knew that I would miss them but adventures are important. A week later they called me from college to say that they were taking 4 months off and heading out, with the money they had saved, for 4 months inthe Oreint: a month in Nepal, a month in China, a month in Vietnam and a month in Thailand. I was nervous but excited for them - "Mom, it's okay, lots of our friends are doing stuff like that..." We agreed they would call once a month, which they did (this was before the days of cell phones) and as the end of each four week period arrived I waited on tenderhooks. Once they didn't call for 5 weeks! When we finally did touch bases their explanation was that it is "very difficult to call collect from a small village in China, Mom." Was I kidsick? Yes, of course I was. But 15 years ago it was impossible to be in constant close contact with one's children. The children had more space and the parents had less contact and therefore less to worry about because they couldn't know everything that was going on. A hundred years ago people immigrated and wrote letters. Then we had the telephone. Then we had cheap phone services. Then we had email and cell phones and text messaging. All these things are wonderful but they build an interdependency which may or may not be to our advantage as families. It's all very interesting. :) Susan thhp://www.HeritageCookbook.com  Beth McHugh (13186) 01 Sep 2008 04:54 PMHi Michele and all readers, you might also be interested in big-time "kidsickness", aka the Empty Nest Syndrome! For details on what it is and how to avoid it, check out: http://mental-health.families.com/blog/the-empty-nest-syndrome-1  Andrea Hermitt (5472) 01 Sep 2008 10:15 PMMy kids go away for3 or 4 days every summer (yes I said days) and I can barely handle it. I can't imagine weeks with no contact.  Michele Cheplic |
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