Charity and the Preschooler

by Michele Cheplic | More from this Blogger

25 Sep 2008 07:08 AM

"Mommy, I thought charity was a girl."

That was my 4-year-old's response after a man from our local St. Vincent de Paul non-profit thrift store helped unload the last bag of donated goods from our car.

For weeks we have been organizing, purging and de-cluttering our home all in the name of charity. After I tackled the kitchen and living room I moved on to my daughter's room. While she was busy crashing her remote control Jeep into towers of wooden blocks I dumped out a gigantic container of stuffed animals and asked her to help me make two piles.

"To jump in?" asked my daughter.

"Nope," I replied. "We're giving some to charity..." I caught myself mid-sentence and rephrased: "I thought it would be nice if we shared some of these stuffed animals with kids who don't have any."

What was I thinking? This is a kid, who once stuffed an entire turkey sandwich, nine potato chips, three carrot sticks, and two chocolate cookies into her mouth all at once when I suggested that she share some of her lunch with her toddler cousin. Like many kids her age my daughter is not big on sharing.

"Two piles," I repeated. "One pile with the animals you really, really can't live without and another with the ones you think another little girl or boy would like to play with."

After giving me the look (you know, the one that makes you wonder if you accidentally uttered your request in Swahili) she sat down next to the sky-high menagerie of stuffed animals and I ducked into her closet to see what I could purge from there.

Silly me.

Less than three minutes later I was greeted with, "Mommy, I'm all done."

"You are?" I asked, failing to disguise the shock in my voice.

"Oh yes," she replied proudly. "Look what I'm giving charity."

I scanned the room and there sitting amongst a pool of blocks was a single cast off--an extra plump teddy bear she got from my grandma shortly after she was born.

"How generous," I mumbled.

"Don't you think that Teddy might get lonely and want a few other friends to go with him to his new home?" I asked.

"But, I might get lonely if he takes too many friends with him," my daughter reasoned.

Just when I was about to unleash a diatribe detailing the fact that my daughter has long been the recipient of extremely generous family member and friends who constantly shower her with incredible gifts (hence her 100 + stuffed animals) and point out to her that the toys in question were housed in a container that she never, ever touches I stopped myself and did what I probably should have done from the start.

"How about some Play-Doh?" I asked.

While my daughter happily molded a colorful smorgasbord in the living room I completed the bedroom project myself. In the end Teddy left here with a ton of other furry friends and my daughter was none the wiser.

Still, I can't help but feel a bit deceitful. Of course, if I had asked her permission to part with each and every toy I eventually donated (some of which she hadn't played with in years) we would have been in her bedroom until midnight.

Have you experienced a similar situation? Do you ask your young children to help weed out old toys or do you just do it yourself in an effort to conserve on time and spare yourself from unwanted drama? At what age did you teach your kids about charity?

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Learn more about Michele Cheplic

Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism.

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drdad (503) 25 Sep 2008 09:08 AM

No! Toys quietly slip out, never to be seen again.

swtuthmommy3 (130) 25 Sep 2008 05:11 PM

With preschool children, it's better to just clean out the toys when they aren't around; just as long as the toys that are left are the ones they most want to play with and are age appropriate. I've cleaned out my daughter's plush toys on occasion when she wasn't around. She never missed the toys I got rid of.

Michele Cheplic (37236) 26 Sep 2008 04:45 AM

Ah yes, the ol' magic disappearing act! I like it.

Thanks for the comments drdad and swtuthmommy3!

Pam Connell (2658) 29 Sep 2008 09:10 PM

I've started putting toys in a container in MY bedroom closet for a month before giving them away. If someone does ask where Baby Laughing Doll is, I can "find" her. If no one notices in a month that the toy isn't in the playroom anymore, out it goes.

This way I won't accidentally throw away a stuffed toy that I don't see my daughter play with much, but that she plays with in the top bunk bed every night so I never see how important it is to her.

Pam Connell (2658) 29 Sep 2008 09:11 PM

My kids were very confused when we met up with a friend of mine whose name happens to be Charity! (And she's not poor and certainly doesn't need their toys, either!)

Michele Cheplic (37236) 30 Sep 2008 03:03 AM

Oh, I love that idea!! Thanks Pam! I am going to get a Sterilite container and do the same ASAP!! Really great idea! LOL about your kids and Charity. My dd has a good friend named Summer and that always gets the questions going too.

MammyKat (143) 07 Oct 2008 03:48 PM

Well written. In regards to this, we are following something my sister used to do. What my sister did when the kids are old enough to understand is for a few years, after Thanksgiving, when holiday fever has taken hold, is, [1] she got a couple of their old toys, [2] she gave them some work to do around the house for which she paid them, [3] went to a store and had them purchase Hot Wheels or a game from that store, then [4] drove to low-income neighborhoods to show her children that there are kids out there with no toys or very few toys; then [5] they went to a charity drop-off and donated the toys. Sorta time-consuming, but seems to make an impression.

Michele Cheplic (37236) 08 Oct 2008 04:06 AM

Great idea! MammyKat I especially like the idea of taking the kids to the store so they have a hand in picking out a gift for someone else instead of just dropping off an old toy. Thanks for the comment!