Do You Discipline Your Child in Public?

by Michele Cheplic | More from this Blogger

03 Nov 2009 04:53 AM

When it comes to disciplining a child, consistency is key. However, these days when screaming is the new spanking and swatting a child on the butt could land you in jail, some parents feel forced to ignore their tot when he has meltdown in public.

Throw in the fact that everyone armed with a cellphone these days has child welfare services on speed dial and kids don't hesitate to call the cops on their own parents (when they aren't seeking revenge via the Internet), and you have the recipe for potential pandemonium.

I, like many other parents, hate disciplining my child in public areas. Who among us wants to reprimand their kid when the eyes of the world are watching? In the privacy of your own home you might feel confident with your discipline technique, but when you are in the middle of Target with a screaming 2-year-old, who won't stop knocking over the toilet paper display, it's natural to start second guessing your every move.

It doesn't take long before the inner turmoil begins: I just gave him three warnings, I'm sure they think I'm a pushover. Do they think he's a spoiled brat? Am I talking too loud? Should I grab his arm and place him in the cart? If I grab him will it look like I am hurting him? Do I dare spank him in that empty aisle? Are they going to call child protective services?

It's not hyperbole. This line of thinking takes place in the minds of parents around the world. How could it not? After all, everyone loves to judge moms (and dads), and it's hard not to let it get to you.

So when your child won't stop pretending he is a fighter jet taking out store end caps with his arm/wing, do you issue a feeble warning and look away, and live with the stigma of being a pushover parent in public or do you spank/scream/threaten at will?

Childhood experts say if you are an effective parent, your discipline techniques likely won't change regardless of the venue. The key is to set rules and remind your kids of them prior to entering a public place (e.g. store or restaurant), such as no running, jumping, yelling, or grabbing things.

And in a perfect world, your little cherub would follow all your rules and life would be tantrum-free, but let's face it, even the best kids have a bad day, and that goes double for parents.

So, do you discipline your kids in public or do you wait until you get home to unleash your ire?

Learn more about Michele Cheplic

Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism.

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ruthann8 (6378) 03 Nov 2009 11:53 AM

The other day we were leaving Wal-Mart and my baby decided to throw a full blown tantrum b/c she didn't get any candy. I sat on the bench and calmly watched her lay on the floor kicking and crying. And of course everybody stared at us! When she finished she got up and we walked out.

rhiannon1mom (25) 03 Nov 2009 04:08 PM

It is really tough in this day and age. So many children in middle school and high school act as though they can do anything and are so disrespectful of there teachers and other adults. Many parents just want to be there child's best friend. They do not take responsibility for their child's actions. I do not agree with spanking your child but I do think they need to know that there are consequences to their actions and it is important to follow through.

http://parenting-happinesstochaos.blogspot.com

Michele Cheplic (37339) 06 Nov 2009 04:57 AM

Ruthann, how long did her tantrum last? When my dd has a meltdown in public I place her in the car, close the door, and stand next to the vehicle until she's done. It's much quieter in the parking lot than in the car ;-)

Michele Cheplic (37339) 06 Nov 2009 05:01 AM

I agree Rhiannon1mom, you don't have to spank to get your message across, but you can't let your kid run hog wild either. Thanks for the comment--well put!