Do You Yell at Your Kids?

by Michele Cheplic | More from this Blogger

24 Jul 2011 10:59 PM

My neighbor's response: "Ah h*ll, I yell! If they listened when I spoke softly I wouldn't have to raise my voice."

You gotta love a brutally honest mom.

The Today Show recently ran a piece on parents who yell at their kids.

Frankly, I didn't think another category existed.

What's that saying: If you don't yell at your kids, then you aren't spending enough time with them?

Parents who yell at their kids = parents.

Is that a bad thing?

Not according to psychologist George Holden. The highly-respected researcher and father of three recently conducted a study about how parents discipline their children and found that a bit of yelling is not as bad as some think. In fact, Holden says, it may even be a good thing.

"Even I'll admit to yelling at my kids when they were a lot younger," says the Dallas dad. "And I'm a pretty laid-back, calm guy. It's certainly challenging to be a parent. No question."

As part of his study, Holden had 36 moms and one dad make audio recordings of their daily interactions with their children.

Given that Holden's previous research found that 90 percent of parents have yelled at their kids at some point in their lives, it's no surprise that he got an earful when he listened to the tapes from the study's participants.

According to Holden, not only did the parents yell, but they spanked, too.

Obviously, Holden doesn't condone violence, but he did have some reassuring words for parents who felt guilty after yelling at their kids.

"A bit of yelling is good for kids," Holden says. "If you're angry at the child, it's sometimes okay to express that emotion so the child can learn to cope with negative emotion in other people."

Before you think that railing on your kid is 100 percent acceptable, you should know that Holden's comforting comments come with a caveat. The childhood expert says it's never okay to humiliate, insult or degrade your children. If you do go off on you kids in a loud voice, you need to explain why you did so, and then tell them you love them or else you risk them feeling alienated.

Do you yell at your kids?

Related Articles:

Was This Mom Too Harsh?

Are You Guilty of Hyper-Parenting?

How Often Do You Yell at Your Kids?

Learn more about Michele Cheplic

Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism.

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