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Dating when You Both Have Kids—Part Five—Dealing with Differences and Inequities

I wrote in part two of this series on two single parents dating about how there can be major differences in parenting in philosophies. These are not the only differences that can cause issues when you are dating another single parent—the way that your children view each other and the differences in the lifestyle, rules, expectations, and discipline between the two families can be a big deal. Comparisons are inevitable and both you and your children might find yourselves noticing and focusing on how things are quite different for children in one family than they are for those in the … Continue reading →

Expect Complaints About Chores and Rules

I think the first reality parents should expect when it comes to setting boundaries and limits, and dishing out the chores is that you should NOT expect your kids to be happy about it. They will complain and balk and generally be disagreeable and you should expect it. That doesn’t mean you need to get all wrapped up in the drama of a push-pull, but you should expect that they are not going to like having rules, regulations, and chores! My mother used to say “I’m not here to win a popularity contest!” and while I don’t say the same … Continue reading →

When Everybody Wants to Be the Center of Attention

Some people are more dramatic than others, and some children seem to crave attention more than others–but anyone who has more than one child knows that competing for attention can often be the name of the game. Throw in the dog, a cat or two, and a spouse or partner and it can seem like everyone wants to be the center of attention! It wasn’t that long ago that my kids would compete with who could “sit next to mom” whenever we went anywhere. With only two sides, that meant someone was often getting left out (once they were two … Continue reading →

I’ll Take All The Compliments I Can Get

I wrote recently about how my skin has become rather tough over the many years of parenting. My kids tend to have plenty of criticisms for how I parent, cook, wear my hair, etc. But, every once in a while nowadays, one of them is actually forthcoming with a compliment. And I have to admit, I glom onto that compliment like cheesecake! Recently, my son told me that one of the things I do make well is homemade pizza. Of course, he wrapped the compliment in the caveat of “Your homemade bread isn’t too good, but you sure can make … Continue reading →

Making Use of “Trial Periods”

I have a tendency to be a results-oriented parent. I want to solve problems or at least come up with solutions that move us out of challenges and into more functional periods. You would think that after nearly two decades of parenting, I would learn that sometimes you have to go with temporary fixes and make the most of “trial periods” since kids and families always seem to be in a state of change and transition. Nothing lasts forever–and while I’m all for setting limits and working rules by which a family can exist, sometimes, we need to try something … Continue reading →

Who Gets to Choose the Bed Time?

Since all my kids are now in high school, with the eldest being a senior, bed time isn’t so much an issue any more. They pretty much get themselves to bed and I’ll occasionally catch them taking naps again. Now, curfew is the big battle ground. But, it used to be negotiations and discussions around bed time… Ultimately, parents get to decide (or should decide) when a child’s bedtime is. This doesn’t mean that you will be able to make them go to sleep, as I wrote yesterday, but you can make sure that they have the opportunity to get … Continue reading →