Search Results for: blog fostering closeness in siblings

Teen Siblings at Odds

I had two younger brothers who always seemed to be at war against one another. Once they hit their teen years, it was like they couldn’t stand to be in the same room. As their sibling, it was also clear to me that they couldn’t stand to be apart from each other either. There were inside jokes, secrets, rivalry, and sometimes even blood. Yes, I witnessed sibling rivalry at it’s finest. Now that I have my own teens I am witnessing sibling rivalry from a different point of view. With an older brother, younger sister combination I have learned that … Continue reading →

Fostering Closeness in Siblings

Sibling rivalry and fighting among siblings can be the bane of a parent’s existence. Ask any family with more than one child and chances are sibling fighting and bickering will be a concern. Many of us choose to have more than one child so that our children will experience the closeness and bonding of a sibling (or two) and then we wonder why it seems like all they do is fight. Is there anything we can do as parents to encourage and foster a sense of closeness between siblings? Age can make a difference in how close siblings are but … Continue reading →

When Siblings Have Shared Friends

If your children are like mine and they are close together in age, one of the “bonuses” is that they may very well move in the same social circles and interact with some of the same peer group. Some kids really like this, while others may want to have their very own friends that they don’t have to share. In my own family, we have been through “stages”—there was a period around the middle school years where my kids really needed to separate and carve out their own identities and this meant having their own friends too. Overall, however, there … Continue reading →

Sibling Rivalry Involving Children with Special Needs

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Life can be difficult for children with special needs, but it can also be tough on their siblings as well. They face the challenges of watching their sibling get more attention from their parents, struggle and suffer, while dealing with the stares and comments of strangers and kids in school. They can battle feelings of fear, embarrassment, loneliness, and guilt. Luckily, there are ways to help them. Listen and be honest. Be a good listener when it comes to your children. Talk to them about their feelings and don’t keep them in the dark when it comes to their sibling’s … Continue reading →

Raising Polar Opposites

My mother used to walk into the dining room to seem me near tears over my math book and my brother lounging in a chair. In one breath she would tell him to open a book and me to take a break. We thought she was nuts. What she knew is that she had one child who would continue to study even when she had hit a wall, and another, who didn’t even need to study, though it wouldn’t hurt if he did. She was parenting polar opposites and so she treated us differently. Sometimes we felt she was showing … Continue reading →

Do You Have a Favorite Child (2)

In our earlier blog this topic, (see link below), we looked at the case of Ellie and Dawn, two sisters in their late 80s where Dawn still suffers from a childhood sense of not being as good as her sister Ellie. This experience has tainted Dawn’s entire life. Her mother, through small but consistent actions during the girl’s childhood, gave Dawn impression that she was “not good enough”. Sibling rivalry is one phenomenon. It is normal and part of the developmental process. But overt parental favoritism is not normal and can damage a child well into adulthood to the point … Continue reading →

Can Your Sibling Relations Influence Your Children’s?

Many of us come from families of origin where our relationships were less than stellar. In fact, this can be a motivating factor for some of us to try to build our own families where the communication is better; the relationships are stronger and more pleasant, and where our children love and get along with each other. If you come from a family where you do not get along with your siblings, you might be wondering how you can do something different with your own children. Will your sibling relations influence the way your own children interact with each other? … Continue reading →