Gift-free Birthday Parties

by Myra Turner | More from this Blogger

27 Jul 2007 08:55 PM

Have you heard about the newest idea in kids' birthday parties? Gift-free birthday parties. In lieu of gifts, partygoers donate money or specific items to the child's charity of choice. Teaching kids about giving is a noble cause but I'm not sure if a gift-free birthday party is the answer. Also, at what age should a parent start? In an article in the July 22, 2007 issue of the New York Times, kids as young as four were becoming little philanthropists. Sure, today kids have more gadgets than they could possible ever play with, but still...

I have no problem with the child wanting to forgo his gifts but if it's the parent's idea then I take issue. There are other ways for kids to give back- volunteering is just one of those ways. I know, I know, many agencies need the extra money. However, there are other ways of fundraising than gift-free parties.

Even Miss Manners apparently hates the idea. She was quoted as saying "People seem to forget that you can't spend other people's money, even for a good cause. Do you really want the birthday child to grow up hating philanthropy because it's done him out of his birthday presents?"

I wrote recently about Tyler having the gimmes. I certainly don't want to raise him to think only of himself and his wants but I certainly would never force him to forgo his birthday gifts. Again, if it's his choice then I'm all for it. I have always given my time for causes I believe it. I always said that I didn't have the finances to help but I could always give of my time. I would hope that my volunteering will rub off on Tyler. And yes, I understand that sometimes in-kind gifts aren't the answer. However, there are other ways of fundraising- bake sales, garage sales, etc. But no-gift birthday parties? I'll have to think about that one.

See also:

Birthday Parties- Are Some Parents Going Too Far?

Let Them Make Cake- And Eat it Too!

Learn more about Myra Turner

I'm a proud mid-life single mom with an active seven-year-old son, Tyler.

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger

Valorie Delp (49340) 28 Jul 2007 05:46 AM

Hmmmm. . .I think I rather like the idea. . .but neither would I force my children to do it. We have done it with our older kids and while we presented the idea they were all for it.

Something that you're not thinking of is that there are serious space issues in NYC. (I'm assuming the families were in the city since it was a NYTimes article.) In a family like ours, each of my children would get 2 to 3 presents from each of the in law families. That's a total of 8-12 toys per child. . .I have five kids so we're talking about up to 60 new toys total. It doesn't matter how small or space saving they are. . .that takes up room. (We throw family parties separately than friend's parties.)

In any case, we asked people to bring a page for the birthday child's scrapbook and then gave a list of needed items for food boxes for the local homeless shelter. My kids got to put together the boxes and deliver them and thought it was awesome. At least in our case, the kids didn't forgo all presents just ones from friends. For us it was a fantastic solution to some serious space issues. The only other option would have been to make our kids get rid of toys that they still enjoyed playing with.

I could totally see how it would work and I'm sorry to see you be so negative about something that could really benefit the community. However, I do agree that the child has to be amenable to it.