Search Results for: blog give your teen opportunities to make their own decisions

Resisting the Urge to Interfere

All last week my 14-year-old daughter was at camp, about 3 hours away from home. It was all middle school kids who were told to not bring their cell phones. Since I was in North Carolina, I missed that information at a parent meeting. So the next morning when I dropped her off at church, she mentioned her phone was low on battery but that she couldn’t bring the charger because she wasn’t supposed to really have it. Yes, just minutes before she is leaving. I didn’t make too much of it and said my goodbyes. It was hard having … Continue reading →

A Lesson in Hair Coloring

So for a few months my daughter has been bugging me to put blue streaks in her hair. I put it off, not because I didn’t think she should have them but I figured it would pass. My views on the hair thing have definitely changed over time. When my children were younger and I saw teens with colored hair I would think, “No way would I ever allow my children to color their hair.” But I have since developed a different view. First, I have come to realize that hair is a small issue compared to what I could … Continue reading →

GivingTeens Space to Work Things Out

It’s really difficult when you know what the right thing to do is and you try to express that to your child, but they reject it. In fact, it’s downright frustrating but yet as a parent you know that sometimes you have to just let your child figure things out on their own. In my case it is an issue with a friendship, one that has existed since one of my children was a toddler. They have been best friends, growing up together both in the church and at school. We also live close to each other so they spend … Continue reading →

A Teen’s First Job Interview

My 17-year-old son has been looking for a job since December. He hasn’t had a single bite, not one call for an interview. So last week when McDonalds had a “National Hiring Day,” he went in to fill out an application. Well so did a whole lot of other people, so we knew the chances might be slim. However to our luck a friend of mine has a daughter who happens to work at a McDonalds close by, so my son was able to use her name as a reference. Finally, after almost five months of applying for jobs, he … Continue reading →

Teens Need Rules But They Also Need Freedoms

There is no question that teenagers need rules, which is many times not a difficult thing for parents to mete out. What can be more challenging is also giving teenagers their freedoms. It can be difficult to draw the line between the two. However some issues are non-negotiable and require firm rules. For instance rules should be established concerning a curfew, the ability to drive the family car or even in dating. In each family the logistics of those rules will vary but they should be established and then discussed. I will admit that I have no problem coming up … Continue reading →

Respect Your Teen’s Values and Beliefs

Sometimes when my 16-year-old talks, especially when it’s about political or moral issues he sounds like me. Now don’t get me wrong, despite his environment obviously influencing him he definitely has his own mind. He is not one to go along with someone else just because. He is his own thinker. The older he gets the more I chuckle at some of his insights, inwardly that is. He is beginning to really sound grown up. He has strong opinions about things and has no problem voicing them. He shares things that are always very interesting. Now some may think that … Continue reading →

Decisions, Decisions: When to Step Out of the Way

While making decisions as a parent isn’t always easy, I am finding that allowing my teens to make decisions isn’t much easier. You see there seems to be a fine line between allowing them to make a decision, which means I have to step out of the way, or making the decision for them. There comes a point in your teen’s life when you really do have to loosen the reigns. I can’t steer them in the direction I would like them to go all of the time. But let me tell you, stepping out of the way is really, … Continue reading →

The Blessing and Woes of Teens

My family and friends have been entering a new season. We now have teens that are of driving age, which opens up more opportunities for them to experience freedom. It is kind of a scary time. My 16-year-old son still has two more behind-the-wheel lessons and then he is scheduled to take his driving test at the end of January. He already has a car waiting for him, only because we got a great deal from a good friend. While at first I was looking at it as something that will be a convenience, lately I have been struggling to … Continue reading →

Allowing Children to Speak Up for Themselves

So this school year, as I have expressed in some of my blogs, I became a football mom. My youngest is the only real athletic child in our family and so this was a real treat for my husband and me. Or at least we thought it was going to be. Turns out this was going to be an experience full of challenges and lessons for not only my son but my husband and I. This is especially true for me as I learned to let go and allow my son to learn from his difficult experiences. Not only do … Continue reading →

We Can’t Always Rescue Our Children

It is sometimes amazing to me how you can learn some really important things about yourself and life when going through a common activity. I never realized that my youngest son joining football would become such a learning experience that goes beyond the logistics of the game. When my son first joined all I pictured in my mind was one happy boy who was finally getting his chance to play tackle football. I was going to be one happy mom who would go to every game and cheer him on. Yet that picture of happiness hasn’t happened. Instead it has … Continue reading →