Search Results for: blog healthy involvement vs micromanaging

Micromanaging Family Life

Have you ever had one of those bosses—the kind who try to micromanage every little detail of the job you are trying to do? It can be incredibly frustrating as you attempt to get a project finished or even use your God-given intellect and talents to have someone constantly second-guessing or looking over your shoulder—or worse yet, someone who actually changes or undoes what you have already done. As a parent, what you think is facilitation or guidance with your child may actually be micromanaging. When it comes to the details of how your family is run—meal time, chores, errands, … Continue reading →

Healthy Involvement Vs. Micromanaging

The term “micromanage” is pretty popular in the work world. I haven’t really heard it in relation to parenting much but it seems to me like it can apply. And, not just to parents of grown children either (although I’m sure we all know–and might be one ourselves–grown individuals who are still being micromanaged by parents with unhealthy boundaries.) As parents of growing young children and adolescents, we might cross the line from involved and supportive parent to overbearing, controlling and micromanaging… Have you ever had the micromanaging boss or supervisor? The person who looks over your shoulder and tells … Continue reading →

I Just Can’t Watch

Have you ever been at one of your child’s activities or in a situation where as much as you wanted to be supportive and encouraging of your child, you just couldn’t bring yourself to watch? Perhaps he or she was doing something very risky, or potentially dangerous, or just something that triggered old issues for you and you just couldn’t bring yourself to watch and cheer? I imagine that most of us parents have been in that situation and we have to negotiate a way to stay involved and supportive and acknowledge that it is hard for us to really … Continue reading →

Even When They Ask for Help, Expect a Little Resentment

I wrote the other day about how, as children get older, it helps if parents ask before offering up suggestions and opinions. In reality, I thought it would be fair to mention that even when they solicit our opinions and ask for our help, they may not be particularly happy about it! I find that with my teens the opposite is often quite true–if they have to ask for my help, they are rather irritated about it and they are just as likely to exhibit resentment as they are appreciation. This brings me back to my number one golden rule … Continue reading →

Ask if They Want Your Opinion First

As my children have gotten older, and I have gotten older as well, one of the things I have learned is that unsolicited opinions seldom go over well. When our children are small, they don’t really have much say over whether we are telling them what to do or not (they still may not like it, however)—but as they get older, our unsolicited opinions and advice can come across as being more invasive or showing them that we neither trust or believe in them. Our kids build up resentment and we end up in a disagreement even though WE THINK … Continue reading →

“I Don’t Have That Much Power”

To small children, we parents can seem pretty all-powerful. Even to older children, if we’ve done our job right of setting an example and providing a consistent and kind authority figure for our kids, they will likely think we have far more power and control over the world than we do. I think it helps to periodically remind them that we really DON’T have that much power and let them know what we parents can and cannot control. I never saw my parents as invincible, but I know that my children have a tendency to assume that I have more … Continue reading →