Helping Kids Deal With Stress

by Myra Turner | More from this Blogger

14 Nov 2006 11:08 AM

When we think of stress, we typically think about adults and stress but our kids are just as venerable to stress as we are. Some of the events that can cause stress to kids include:

When their parents are having problems.

Fighting with a friend or a sibling.

Taking a test, grades, school and homework.

Teens often stress over whether someone thinks they are attractive.

Not having enough privacy.

Transferring to a new school.

Parent(s) remarrying.

Not having enough money.

Feeling a teacher does not like them.

Peers, gossip and teasing.

How do kids handle stress? According to a KidsHealth KidsPoll, respondents said they coped with stress in the following ways:

52% play or do something active

44% listen to music

42% watch TV or play a video game

30% talk to a friend

29% try not to think about it

28% try to work things out

26% eat something

23% lose their temper

22% talk to a parent

11% cry

(note: they were able to make more than one selection)

What's sad is that about 25% of the kids said that when they were upset they took it out on themselves by banging their heads, hitting or biting themselves or doing something else to hurt themselves. Some also used other unhealthy coping strategies like eating, losing their temper or simply keeping their problems to themselves.

If your child is stressed out they need your support. Here are some things you can do to help:

If you notice something seems wrong, tell your child so but do it in a non-accusatory manner. You want to open the lines of communication and let your child know that you are interested in what's happening with them.

You can also ask your child what's wrong and listen attentively. Don't judge, blame or lecture.

Make a brief comment on how you think your child is feeling and let them know that you understand how they feel.

Help your child to put a label on what the emotions they are experiencing.

Suggest activities that will help your child feel better and solve the problem. Sometimes it might be best to just change the subject and move on to something more positive and not give the problem more attention than it deserves.

Sometimes it's enough to just be there and listen when your kids talk about what's bothering them. I'm a volunteer rape crises counselor and I know many times I have received calls where the caller just needed to talk especially when they are trying to decide whether to take legal action. They simply need to work things out in there heads, so to speak, but they also need to weigh the pros and cons out loud although they may not actually want your input.

Most of all be patient and focus on helping your child through whatever problem they are experiencing that is causing the stress even if we think the issue is trivial. Focus on helping your child get through it and learn healthy coping skills at the same time.

See also: Depression in Kids and Adolescents

Learn more about Myra Turner

I'm a proud mid-life single mom with an active seven-year-old son, Tyler.

View Full Profile | More from this Blogger