Search Results for: blog holding grudges or letting goteaching our kids about forgiveness

Has Parenting Made You Softer?

Recently I was chatting with a parent who confessed that parenting had made her “softer”—not in terms of being squishy and emotional, but she wanted to talk about how she just felt more open and vulnerable and real as a person because of parenting. I thought this could be a fun topic for a blog here in the Parenting Blog… I had to agree with my friend—I am more myself completely when I am with my children than with anyone else. I have never had a spouse, partner, friend or family member that I have allowed myself to be as … Continue reading →

Clearing the Slate

Sometimes in life, there is nothing to do but start over. I believe that there are times in our experiences as parents when it becomes necessary to wipe the slate clean too and start over—whether it is with our children in some capacity or with our personal philosophies of parenting, there are times when we really need to just stop, clear the slate, and begin again… I have experienced the need to clear the slate with my kids and as a parent on several occasions—there have been those times when I felt betrayed or as if I just could not … Continue reading →

Can They Really Ask You Anything? AND, is That What You Want?

When I talk to parents of young children, many will share that they want a relationship with their children where the kids can “ask them anything.” Talk to parents of teenagers, however, and they might just as likely say something like “there are things I just don’t want to know.” Building and maintaining an open line of communication with our child takes commitment and an openness to dealing with whatever comes, no matter how uncomfortable it might be. If we want our children to feel free to talk to us about anything, then we need to figure out how to … Continue reading →

How Much Forgiveness Should We Model?

As role models for our kids, we parents have tall orders—we have to set an example and model desirable character traits and behaviors, but we also have to allow for some flaws and humanity. One of the things I know that single parents can model for our kids is forgiveness—such an important life lesson. We might start to wonder, however, how MUCH forgiveness we should model and when our forgiveness lessons have crossed over into co-dependency? I think about forgiveness in two pieces—there are the little, daily constant infractions that we need to learn how to let go of and … Continue reading →

There is Value in Everything

Hard lessons, tough days, big changes–there are times when it can seem like finding a point to all the struggles and seemingly random hardships is impossible. But from one single parent to another, I really do believe that there is value of some sort in every challenge and lesson… It may not be obvious at the onset, and the value may just be to teach you how to say “no” or walk away–but there is still something useful to be found in all sorts of events and realities. I do not think that everything that happens to us or around … Continue reading →

Short Leash? Or Too Much Rope?

Surely you have heard the old addage that if you give people (kids) enough rope, they will hang themselves with it? I think many of us parents use this advice to keep our children on a very short leash–but is the short leash really the right way to go? Could there be a happy medium between too much and too little? There are a few things that can happen if we try to keep our kids on incredibly short leashes: they can rebel and tug against the rope, causing all sorts of power struggles and resentment; they might also give … Continue reading →

Ongoing Lessons in Letting Go

I have a few friends who are far more experienced parents than I am—they have already launched their children and I have a couple close friends who are fairly new grandparents. One of the things I have learned from these people as I have watched their children grow up and their parenting roles change is that we parents get multiple, ongoing lessons in letting go… Like bonding and attachment, there is NOT just one opportunity to get letting go right in the world of family life. As a matter of fact, it tends to be ongoing, perpetual and with a … Continue reading →