Home and Family: Grief

by Sherry Holetzky | More from this Blogger

12 Jan 2007 08:53 AM

It's good to have our families around us when we're hurting. Having a strong support system in place is important and can be an incredible source of comfort. While we don't want to burden our children with problems or details, children can be very perceptive and one of the most wonderful sources of healing.

Today, my dad would have been 67. It's the second birthday he's missed. Last year, I did pretty well, in part, because I had really tried to prepare myself for the date. I wanted to be strong for my brother. I was sad, but I was okay.

I tried to think about happy times and fond memories and keep my spirits up. My brother did pretty well too. He doesn't live nearby, but we talked on the phone for a couple hours. We told old stories and laughed and cried together, and it was healing. I'll call him later to see how he's doing today.

This year, it hit me hard. I thought about it a little last week, but with so much going on, I quickly pushed it aside. This morning I changed the page on my flip calendar and the date seemed to jump out at me. Dad's birthday.

The kids just went to school, and my husband is still sleeping. It's quiet and I'm sitting here filled with memories, and what ifs, and even some regrets. I didn't get to say goodbye to my dad. He passed away the night before Father's Day, and I had planned to call him that next morning. I always think... if I had just called him early...

I didn't mention the date to my kids, but my youngest who is always so in tune with me, just seemed to know something. She didn't know exactly what was going on, but she knew that I was hurting, even though I didn't say anything and tried to get through the morning as normally as possible. She just hugged me, touched my face, and said, "It's okay, Mommy. I love you."

And, you know what? It's really just that simple.

Learn more about Sherry Holetzky

Sherry Holetzky is a work at home mom and freelance writer. Married to her best friend, Sherry and her husband are raising their family in a quiet rural setting in the beautiful Ozark Mountains.

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