11 Mar 2008 06:06 PM

How Long Should Bedtime Routine Take?

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

Judging from comments and questions, bedtime and sleep habits are one of the biggest issues that parents face. We all want to know how to get our babies to sleep through the night, how to keep toddlers from getting up in the night, and how to create a smooth and pleasant bedtime routine. One of the questions that come up is how long a typical bedtime routine should take? If you are starting your bedtime routine right after dinner and still trying to get your child to bed two hours later-it might not be working...

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I do think that it is important to give bedtime its due-rushing through or just sending a child to bed can be problematic and make it tougher for kids to settle down and get to sleep. When my children were younger, our routine consisted of a snack, followed by bath and then story time. After the last story was bedtime. We would reach different amounts of books each night depending on how sleepy I thought everyone was, how late it was, or whether I thought we needed a little extra time to get calm. The routine used to be that at the end of bath time, as everyone was getting dried off, I would give the number of books per person-it was a 2-book (or 3 or 4) night. The first person to get into their pjs and gather their books and get them to my lap got to have their books read first, then second and third. We read the books in order of how they arrived. Then, there was a final trip to the bathroom before bed. Usually, the whole routine took about an hour. As the kids got older and it became a "chapter book" that we were reading instead of picture books, it still took about an hour.

If your bedtime routine is taking longer, or it does not result in the child getting into bed (and going to sleep)-you might need to re-evaluate. Are you starting too soon? Is there a lot of "back and forth" in your routine? The experts say that a good bedtime routine has the child moving in one direction-toward bed-and not coming back downstairs for a snack after bath time, or getting up once she has gotten into bed. Are you trying to rush through the routine and the child is balking and putting up a fight? Bedtime can be a pleasant, wonderful time for parents and children and does not have to be the nightly battle. It might just take some evaluation and adjustment on your part to find a routine that works.

Also: Who Gets to Choose the Bedtime?

Teaching Your Child to Stay in Bed

Your Baby's Body Clock

Learn more about Kori Rodley Irons

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Kori is a single parent of three older teenagers--two in college and one still in high school.

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1 comments so far

lauriej54 (31) 20 Mar 2008 11:22 AM

Well again I was the mother of five kids and a single mom. I also was a Licensed Home daycare provider for 25 years. I think one of the biggest problem areas is that many parents just feel too guilty to keep their kids on a routine bedtime schedule. Mom and dad's feel they have missed their children so much through the day, that often I heard stories that the children could stay up as long as the parents!What! I love my kids too, but after very busy days I wanted "my time" in the evening, with my husband, or to watch our shows or just to visit in peace and quiet. I did not feel guilty and I never shared my child's bed so they could fall asleep as long as mommy or daddy was right there. No. I am sorry, but I feel the wrong message is sent to these children. Parents have their beds and kids have their own too. Except for that occasional "scary" dream or if they were ill, our kids always went to bed and slept very well through the night . We would all take a family walk after dinner and then sit on the porch while they played a bit if the weather was nice. Then bathtime and one story was read, they all took turns picking the story for that night. i feel a true routine and ritual is what these kids need. They really thrive on knowing what to expect and there's no chaos to bedtime. They are tired and we are the parents.My daycare kids slept well for me also. Of course we took walks everyday and played out each day, weather permitting. Children need a nap when they are young for healthy growth and development and they need the same at night. So do we parents, look at all the studies today about how important a good night's sleep is for all of our health. Follow the guidelines for routines and your family will sail through the choppy waters much easier.

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