How Many Agendas Are We Juggling Here?

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

03 Aug 2007 07:28 PM

I have got an agenda. I've got a work agenda, a personal agenda, and I most definitely have a Mom agenda. That ought to be enough agendas for one household, but throw in three more humans and we've got agenda-mania going on around here. I have to remind myself of that fact when I'm wondering why things aren't running as smoothly as I think they should!

I think dueling agendas can be blamed for all sorts of family issues. After all--we want our child to pick up his room and get home on time, but he has other challenges and issues on his mind. He might be having friend trouble or be trying to learn to skateboard, or feel the pressure to make it to baseball practice on time. As far as he's concerned, his agenda is the one that matters and we are being crazy. As far as we're concerned, he's being stubborn and sloppy and irresponsible. See how these dueling agendas can work against each other?

I know it isn't always easy to see the forest for the trees--and the more bodies you get in a family or household, the more it can seem daunting just to keep some sort of order. Of course, it is also necessary to prioritize agendas. BUT, does mom or dad's agenda always trump a child's? Is cleaning the bedroom more important than getting to baseball practice on time or getting enough sleep? What is the big picture and what is the most imperative in the moment? We can't really expect our young children to be able to see things from our point of view, so it is really up to us to take in everyone's agenda and be able to sort out what needs to and should happen, and make sure everyone's agenda is getting fair play.

Also: Keep An Eye Out for the "Buts"

Mirroring and Validation--A Parent's Tools

Expressing Wants and Feelings--Or Complaining?

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