Search Results for: blog how old is too old for imaginary friends

The New Friends

A very gracious and wonderful friend has been overseeing my son during a part of the day I am occupied by work. Her only request was that I purchase her coffee in exchange for the opportunity to spend some amount of time with my joyful son (though she’ll certainly get more than mere morning drink for the wonderful work she does). She’s a wonderful person and has become a good friend to my son during their time together. My son recognizes her as a friend and gladly extends his arms in a sign for her to lift him off of … Continue reading →

Imaginary Birthmother’s Letter, Part Three

This is the continuation of a letter I imagined a birthmother might write. The last two blogs contain the first two parts. Again, this is my imagination and is not based on any birthmother that I know. The letter continues: When my friends came home they took me to the hospital. You were born in a tiny room. A doctor and nurse were there when you were born. The doctor made sure you were breathing all right, and then he took you to the nursery, where you stayed in the incubator because you were so tiny. The nurse could tell … Continue reading →

Imaginary Birthmother’s Letter, Part One

I tried to imagine what my daughter’s birthmother might say to her if we were in contact now. I wrote down a letter as if from her point of view, and then decided to write a more generic version for this blog. Details have been changed, since it’s really my daughter’s story and not mine. Again this is my imagination from what I know of the circumstances of some birthmothers. It is not based on any particular birthmother. The letter begins: Dear little daughter, I hope that you are well. It is very cold here. Soon the moon will be … Continue reading →

How Old is TOO Old For Imaginary Friends?

There is no rule that says that children HAVE to have invisible or imaginary friends, but if they do, many will have them when they are 3 or 4 years old. It is fairly common for parents to worry about whether it is “normal” to have invisible/imaginary friends and to worry even more if this type of fantasy play continues into the elementary school years. Only one of my three children ever had an imaginary friend (that we knew about) and she was pretty developmentally on-target. If I remember correctly, it was from about the age of 4 until the … Continue reading →

The Santa Threat

It happened in a blink of an eye. I just couldn’t help myself. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve become one of those parents… a full-fledged adult who uses Santa Claus as a behavior modifier. I’ve tried to console myself by thinking of the millions of other parents who fall into the same trap this time of year. Still, I feel bad that in a moment of weakness I pulled out the Santa card and used it on my 4-year-old. The day started out so innocently. I had a list of errands to complete, including mailing out our … Continue reading →

Will Your Child Be Adopting this Month?

Maybe I’m just a Scrooge about Black Friday. Usually I don’t even read the ads because I know I don’t want to deal with crowds. I’m firmly sold on online shopping. Last night I saw some ads, though, and was tempted—I didn’t know some things would be over sixty percent off! Maybe this gripe comes from my general dislike for shopping, but I’m a bit skeptical of dolls that come with adoption certificates. The idea of taking yhour child to a toy store, wandering the aisles, specifying the exact eye color you want and handing over your money in exchange … Continue reading →

What is “Real” to You and What is “Real” to Your Child May Differ

“There’s a monster under my bed!” Or “I saw a fairy today!” Fantasies and imaginations run wild with small children. Even the young toddler may start to tell grand “tales” and have nightmares and fantasies. Our first inclination as parents may be to reprimand our child and try to get him to understand that his fantasies and imaginings are not “real”—but what is real and obvious to us may not be the same “real” that our child is experiencing. Common advice for a parent who is dealing with a three-year-old who has developed a fear of “imaginary” ghosts is to … Continue reading →

Can a Cherry Pie Wave Goodbye – Preschool Music – Hap Palmer

Normally, I’m not a big fan of “preschool music”. I find it too sweet and too repetitive. Our marvelous preschool teacher used to play Hap Palmer music. Not only did the kids love it, I thought the songs were gentle, fun, and I loved the ways children could play along and learn at the same time. Can a Cherry Pie Wave Goodbye? : Songs for Learning Through Music and Movement by Hap Palmer will introduce preschoolers to all sorts of concepts and vocabulary words. They learn colors and body parts in “Put a Little Color on You” as they are … Continue reading →

Is it Real or Imagined?

Most of us parents have to deal with our children’s wild and wonderful imaginations at one time or another—whether it is imaginary friends, or monsters, or vivid nightmares. We parents can let our imaginations get the best of us too! When anxiety, fears, and stress seem to be your best parenting friend, it might be worthwhile to ask yourself if your concerns are real…or imagined? I’m here to tell you that I can imagine all sorts of fabulous and horrid things happening to my children. If one of them is 15 minutes late getting home, there have been times when … Continue reading →

Don’t Just Rely on Age as Indicator

Developmental stages and age charts are just one way of evaluating whether or not a child is on track or in a “developmentally appropriate” stage. Most parents learn that age cannot be the only indicator of whether a child is capable of handling increased responsibilities, more complicated toys, special activities, etc. Our child and the same-age neighbor may be in completely different developmental stages. It is easy to find charts that tell you what the “average” 10-year-old or 5-year-old or even 16-year-old should be doing. Many parents will also set benchmarks like “no make-up until you’re 13” or “no dating … Continue reading →