Search Results for: blog how to deal with sibling rivalry

Sibling Rivalry Involving Children with Special Needs

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Life can be difficult for children with special needs, but it can also be tough on their siblings as well. They face the challenges of watching their sibling get more attention from their parents, struggle and suffer, while dealing with the stares and comments of strangers and kids in school. They can battle feelings of fear, embarrassment, loneliness, and guilt. Luckily, there are ways to help them. Listen and be honest. Be a good listener when it comes to your children. Talk to them about their feelings and don’t keep them in the dark when it comes to their sibling’s … Continue reading →

Teen Siblings at Odds

I had two younger brothers who always seemed to be at war against one another. Once they hit their teen years, it was like they couldn’t stand to be in the same room. As their sibling, it was also clear to me that they couldn’t stand to be apart from each other either. There were inside jokes, secrets, rivalry, and sometimes even blood. Yes, I witnessed sibling rivalry at it’s finest. Now that I have my own teens I am witnessing sibling rivalry from a different point of view. With an older brother, younger sister combination I have learned that … Continue reading →

Don’t Make Sibling Comparisons

I know that this may seem like a “no brainer” as we used to say in the 1990’s–comparing one child to his or her sibling-whether you think you are being positive or not, is seldom a good idea. No matter how mild you think you are being, any time you say something like, “Well, your sister did XYZ” or “I never had to say X to your brother” you are creating animosity and sending a message to your child that he or she just isn’t good enough–especially, compared to the sibling. You may think that you are just commenting on … Continue reading →

Strong Sibling Bonds

We tend to focus on the ways that siblings fight and squabble and DON’T get along as we look for ways to combat sibling rivalry. Many of us who have had more than one child really hope that our children will grow up with strong and lasting sibling bonds and wonder what we can do to make that reality more likely? The hope of close sibling bonds was one of the reasons I chose to have my kids close together. With each of them barely a year apart, they have grown up in a cluster or a clan and they … Continue reading →

Promoting a Positive Sibling Adjustment

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My last blogs talked about the difficulties siblings may experience in an adoption and the positives of having siblings in adoptive families. In our experience, my three-year-old was very loving toward his one-year-old sister initially. He would often sigh and comment, “Wow, babies sure cry a lot” (we’d prepared him for this), but generally seemed okay. A few months later, however, he did have a couple of times yelling “send that baby back to Korea!” This was especially hard for us to hear before the adoption was finalized. Afterwards it didn’t bother us so much. I believe one of the … Continue reading →

How Involved Should You Get in Sibling Spats?

Sibling rivalry and sibling disagreements is a fact of life if you have more than one child. While the actual intensity of those battles and fights may differ from family to family–the reality is that if you have more than one, there’s going to be some tussles and rumbles over possessions, attention, and just about anything and everything else. The challenge for parents often comes in trying to decide how involved he or she should get in helping to mediate and alleviate those sibling spats. I confess that I’ve moved back and forth between mediating and letting them work out … Continue reading →

Report Says Sibling Spats Are Inevitable

Sometimes I worry that as Tyler gets older he’ll miss having a sibling. Then again when I think about the squabbles, the “make him stop looking at me”, the sibling rivalry— well, maybe being an only child’s not such a bad thing. If you have more than one child, you probably get your fill of sibling spats, perhaps a daily dose even. Now a new report says that these sibling spats are inevitable. The study was conducted by researchers at Pennsylvania State University. I found some of the conclusions drawn by the researchers a bit odd. Here are a few … Continue reading →

Stop the Sibling Rivalry

Having kids that fight is tough in any home but when you are the only parent trying to keep peace makes it even more challenging. Having just one child is completely different from having two. Then, when you consider that children each have a unique personality, there will be clashes. My own kids actually got along extremely well but I was a single parent and we did have some sibling rivalry. However, I realized early on that it had to be under control or I was going to lose my mind. With more than one child in the house, there … Continue reading →

“Brother for Sale.” Helping Kids Cope with their Sibling’s Disability

What would otherwise be normal sibling rivalry is even more complex between a special needs and a typical child. The child without a disability will experience a wide variety of feelings, all of which are perfectly normal and understandable. As parents, there are some ways to help encourage positive relationships between our children, while also recognizing their different emotional needs. Here are some typical emotions that siblings of special needs children may experience: Resentment: Siblings might resent the extra attention, time, and emotional focus that is directed toward the special needs sibling. They may resent it if they are given … Continue reading →

How To Combat Sibling Rivalry

Why is it that sibling rivalry gets all the attention when they are countless examples of siblings that get along great? It’s the same reason that the crying child gets a parents attention more often than their quiet sibling. Siblings who already have a great relationship don’t need any help it’s the siblings who battle that need attention. What causes sibling rivalry? Children don’t get to choose whom their brothers and sisters are. Conflicting personalities. Two controlling children will fight more than a dominant and passive child will. Competition for parental love and attention. Position in the family and the … Continue reading →