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It is Okay to Be Diverse With Discipline

I know that as parents we are taught that firmness and consistency is the key when it comes to discipline. And, it is also tempting that when we find something that seems to work in the discipline department, we stick with it. BUT, there is nothing wrong with a little diversity. As a matter of fact, any parent has probably experienced finding something that seems to work for a while and then having everything change and finding that time outs, removal of privileges, discussions, etc. STOP working. Our kids change, life changes, and we find ourselves without discipline techniques to … Continue reading →

When Losing Privileges Doesn’t Work

Taking away or losing privileges is one of the mainstays of parental discipline. Many of us find that next to time-outs, losing privileges becomes a good logical consequence to misbehavior. Of course, not all methods of discipline work well with all children, however, and there are those for whom losing privileges just does not seem to be a deterrent. Some kids care about stuff and things and some just are not very attached to items so losing the use of a bicycle or an apparently cherished toy or video game just does not seem to affect them like it does … Continue reading →

Sometimes, There’s More of a Reward for Misbehavior Than Good Behavior

The truth is, when children choose to repeat annoying or unsavory behavior, there is a reason. They are getting SOMETHING out of it. As parents, we try to influence them to give up the bad behavior–we may use positive rewards, take away privileges, etc. in an attempt to change the behavior, but if the child clings to the “bad” behavior then there is something more that he or she is getting from it than what we’ve been able to offer. This is where the investigative part of parenting comes in as we try to determine the motivation for the child’s … Continue reading →

Taking Away Privileges—Making it Work

Once children graduate from the preschool, “time out” phase, the world of discipline can open up for a parent. One of the tried and true methods for many families is the taking away of privileges. This could mean restricting activities, taking away items or possessions, or “grounding.” But, like all discipline techniques—it doesn’t work for every child and it isn’t always appropriate. AND, it can be overused and lose its effectiveness. I think that any discipline technique loses its effectiveness when it is overused. Often, taking away privileges becomes the ONLY thing that parents do and eventually, a child learns … Continue reading →

Ask Yourself—Is this Behavior Intentional?

“I just know he’s doing it to make me mad!” How often have we felt absolutely convinced that our child’s behavior (or that of a friend, coworker, spouse, family member, etc.) is intentionally directed toward us? How often do we discover that the behavior was not only NOT intentional, but it didn’t really have anything to do with us anyway? When facing behavior issues in our children, it can be a positive and important step to first try to determine motivation and figure out whether or not the behavior is intentional. Sure, there are plenty of times when a child’s … Continue reading →