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Keep an Eye Out for the “Buts”

“My child is a really great kid, but…”; “I love the way you straightened your room, but…”; “You did a good job on this school project, but…” Adding in that one little word when it comes to communicating with and about your kids can mean the difference between a great, supportive relationship and one that undermines your child’s self-confidence and creates problems. It is amazing how the slightest and tiniest of words can be so powerful. “But” is just one of those words (“if only” and “don’t you thin?” are other troublesome phrases.) When we tag that on to things … Continue reading →

As a Parent, Are You Overly-Sensitive? (Or Not Sensitive Enough?)

I have a tendency to take things personally–or at least I used to. I imagine that twenty years of being in the parenting trenches has toughened my skin a bit. Now, I occasionally feel as though I am lacking sensitivity and being a big too jaded when interacting with my kids. I suppose the goal is to achieve some balance between being sensitive to our children’s feelings and needs (and our own) and not being so sensitive we are unable to make objective choices and decisions. We can become overly enmeshed with our children and so sensitive that we take … Continue reading →

How Many Agendas Are We Juggling Here?

I have got an agenda. I’ve got a work agenda, a personal agenda, and I most definitely have a Mom agenda. That ought to be enough agendas for one household, but throw in three more humans and we’ve got agenda-mania going on around here. I have to remind myself of that fact when I’m wondering why things aren’t running as smoothly as I think they should! I think dueling agendas can be blamed for all sorts of family issues. After all–we want our child to pick up his room and get home on time, but he has other challenges and … Continue reading →