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Learning to Forgive Ourselves

Yesterday I blogged about my terrible morning and how I sent my youngest son off to school crying. It was helpful to receive some feedback that I am not alone. It was also helpful when later that morning I made a trip to the beauty salon. I find the beauty salon to be therapeutic. Of course, it helps that my hair stylist happens to be my friend and I have been going to her for nearly 17 years now. As soon as I walked in the door she knew something was wrong. I spilled it all out and guess what? … Continue reading →

Learning from Past Mistakes

Have you ever looked at your kids and wondered how they can keep making the same mistakes, after you’ve told them time and time again about it? We can be tempted to think much the same when we look at Scripture and the Israelite people. Recently my readings have been in Numbers. I read how the Israelites refused to listen to Caleb and Joshua and ended up wandering in the wilderness for 40 years instead of entering the Promised Land. They also refused to listen to Moses and Aaron and grumbled against them, Numbers 16 and again in Numbers 20 … Continue reading →

Tackling the Challenge of Loving Ourselves

We have heard the talk about self-love and self-compassion, but it is one thing to read the articles and “say” that we are all about loving ourselves, it is quite another thing to actually tackle the issue and work on truly getting to a place where we forgive ourselves, have compassion for ourselves and love ourselves. As single parents who may be struggling with other issues, this can be a big task to tackle. When I decided to start working on my self-love, I realized that it was going to be a big project. After all, the more mishaps, mistakes … Continue reading →

Forgive, Forgive, Forgive!

I wrote earlier today about how hanging on to hate can waste a lot of time. It dawned on me as I was finishing up, however, that the anecdote to hate is really forgiveness and while we often talk about the importance of forgiveness and letting go, few of us know how drastic forgiveness can be. It has taken me over forty years to learn that forgiveness is NOT giving up or letting others have control over me; it also does not mean that I am forgetting or allowing myself to make the same mistakes over and over again. What … Continue reading →

How Much Forgiveness Should We Model?

As role models for our kids, we parents have tall orders—we have to set an example and model desirable character traits and behaviors, but we also have to allow for some flaws and humanity. One of the things I know that single parents can model for our kids is forgiveness—such an important life lesson. We might start to wonder, however, how MUCH forgiveness we should model and when our forgiveness lessons have crossed over into co-dependency? I think about forgiveness in two pieces—there are the little, daily constant infractions that we need to learn how to let go of and … Continue reading →

Forgiveness in the Parent-Child Relationship

When we think of that great, ongoing life lesson with forgiveness, we may think of personal relationships with partners and spouses, friends, and family–but we don’t often think of our relationship with our young children. But, forgiveness IS an ongoing issue in parenting and one more place where we (both parents and children) get to wrestle with this difficult task… The other day, I wrote about trust and how parents and children wrestle with trust issues in the growing up years–but I think that learning how to let go and forgive is such a big thing–and one where many families … Continue reading →

Worry, Control and Judging

What are the three things that can plaque a mother? It is worry, control and judging. And I would guess these are common issues for most mothers. It doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in, they can swoop in and overtake you. Why do we worry? Sometimes it is out of genuine concern. But other times our worry is based on a lack of trust or that everything won’t turn out exactly the way we think it should. Worry can keep us up at night. It has for me. It can consume you so much that you can’t … Continue reading →

No More “Enjoy Your Child While You Can”

I read an interesting blog this week from the Huffington Post. It was written by a mother of three young children. The core message was that although she understands the good intentions of those who say things like, “Enjoy them while you can” or similar sentiments such as that, she finds it a bit unnerving. She expressed how it makes her feel like she isn’t a good mom if she isn’t enjoying every moment. Because let’s face it, the reality is that not every moment in parenting is enjoyable. I certainly understood her point. It made me pause and think … Continue reading →

The Shocking Verdict of Casey Anthony

On Tuesday I watched the live broadcast of the verdict being read for Casey Anthony. As was the case for most people, I was stunned when I heard “Not Guilty.” Poor little Caylee Anthony won’t see justice done…at least not this side of things. Facebook got very active, lots of thoughts and opinions. Most people can’t wrap their minds around the verdict but others believe the circumstantial evidence wasn’t enough and that the prosecution reached too high in making this a death penalty case. Then of course there is the whole thing of not knowing what exactly caused her death. … Continue reading →

Life’s Not Fair, Get Over It

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Guilt, guilt, guilt. Sometimes I think I should change my name to include that one word. When I divorced my husband, my daughter’s father, I  had a tremendous amount of guilt. What had I done? How would it affect Hailey? Would this cause her to rebel more as a teenager? If she rebels it will be ALL MY Fault. If she turns to drugs or alcohol, it will be ALL MY FAULT, I tore her family apart. I know I didn’t do it by myself. The destruction of my marriage was a joint venture, my ex husband and I both … Continue reading →