Learning To Just Say Noby Myra Turner | More from this Blogger 12 Jan 2007 01:43 PM Book Review: No: Why Kids --Of All Ages-- Need To Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It, by Dr. David Walsh Parenting expert and psychologist, Dr. David Walsh of the Institute on Media and the Family, says that parents don't say the word, "no" enough to their kids. One of the reasons he feels this is true is because of the media. Kids today are bombarded with commercials and as a result they get a bad cause of the "gimmes". Sadly, a lot of parents will give in and buy their kids whatever they ask for. He calls this "discipline deficit disorder", and talks about it at length in his book, No: Why Kids --Of All-- Ages Need To Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It. In his book, Dr. Walsh says that children today have simply not heard the work "no" enough. He points out that many parents seem to have "developed an allergic reaction to their kids being unhappy or disappointed". As we know, learning how to cope with disappointment is a very important life skill that our children need to learn in order to succeed as adults. Dr. Walsh asserts that using the word "no" is a parenting strategy that can teach children to delay immediate gratification and work on long term goals instead. If we constantly say "yes" to every request our kids make, we are raising a generation of kids who think they can have what they want whenever they want it. This ultimately leads to disappointment when kids learn that in real life they can't always have what they want. Parental guilt sometimes lead to overspending. His book says that today's kids have 500% more money spent on them than their parents did a generation ago. Walsh suggests that parents spend less money on their kids. When they do, kids will naturally get upset but parents have to stand their ground. See also: Stop The Marketing To Your Kids Teaching Your Kids To Be Fiscally Fit Learn more about Myra Turner  I'm a proud mid-life single mom with an active seven-year-old son, Tyler. Relevantparenting tags User Comments  mama2riley (24481) 12 Jan 2007 02:58 PMI encountered this problem a lot during the 3 yrs I taught kindergarten. Kids were simply used to getting whatever they wanted and had a hard time adjusting to a classroom where I was the boss and "no" was commonly said. I think it is so important for parents to be a parent and not a "buddy" to their children and that involves disappointing them at times. In the long run, they won't remember that candy in the grocery store they wanted when they were 5, but that they had a parent who cared enough to act on what was best for them, even if it meant a tantrum or two. Community Tags no, over-indulgence, the gimmes Discuss this article
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