Search Results for: blog let child overhear praise not criticism

Praise Children for Things They Have Control Over

We know as parents that praise and encouragement are important. In fact, most of us have learned the lessons of building our child’s self-esteem through those positive, encouraging words. What might be a bit confusing, however, is how WHAT we praise can really make a difference in how our children benefit from those words of praise. Praising effort is more encouraging for a child than to praise the outcome. When you encourage a child for working hard, trying, and being persistent—you are encouraging them in the process and not focusing on whether they win, lose, or what the outcome is. … Continue reading →

Criticism can keep Our Kids from Sharing

Many parents feel like it is their job to criticize and “direct” their children–it does not matter what the child is doing, from tying his shoes to taking out the trash, the parent is offering “constructive advice.” Too much criticism, however, can be a real barrier between parent and child; too much criticism can keep our children from wanting to talk to us, share with us, or even be around us; too much criticism can undo bonding and attachment. Think of times when you have been criticized–maybe it was by your own parents or on the job. If the criticism … Continue reading →

How About a Little Delicacy?

“Delicacy” is not a word that I often hear any longer—especially as it relates to human interactions. We tend to be living in a bold, straight-forward, honesty-no-matter-what world if you ask me and maybe as parents, what we could use a little more of, is a bit of “delicacy”… I know that the word delicacy can imply a weakness or a frailty, but that is not how I am thinking of it. I am thinking more in terms of using some diplomacy and gracefulness in how we approach subjects and situations. As our children get older, we really may find … Continue reading →

Turn Off Your Critical Brain

How can we help it as parents? We know that a big part of our job is to train and teach our children and this just seems to include a bit of critiquing. We know that we can be too critical and that often keeping our mouths closed is better than saying something critical, but many of us struggle with this. I’ve come up with a phrase I use for myself and I remind myself to “turn off my critical brain” and open myself up to other ways of responding. The world is a critical place, it may not seem … Continue reading →

What if You Were Being Graded or Evaluated on Your Parenting?

I know that I have written before about trusting our instincts and trying to let other people’s opinions get to us when it comes to relaxing and doing what we think is best as parents. We do need to try to get away from worrying what other people think. But, I also think that sometimes it helps to think about what sort of “grade” we might get if we were evaluated on our parenting when we think that no one is looking… You’ve probably heard it before, it’s not what we do when we’re in public or on display that … Continue reading →

Let Child Overhear Praise, Not Criticism

Parents talk about their kids. It is a fact of parenting and family life that our children may overhear us talking to our friends, grandparents, or spouse about something the child did or didn’t do. Hearing a parent’s negative talk or reporting can be devastating or angering though. We can turn the tales on this reality by letting our children overhear us saying positive and good things about them, and not the criticism. Overhearing praise can be powerful. I know that my own children have often accused me of saying something positive because “you have to, you’re my mom!” But, … Continue reading →