Letting Go of Guilt

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

04 Feb 2007 06:39 PM

I'm not saying that guilt is an emotion that can be solely claimed my moms, but I might make a strong argument that women as a whole are much more susceptible to "the guilts" than anyone else. We feel guilty for what we do and don't do, who we are and who we are not, we second-guess the decisions and choices we make, and, God forbid we actually make a mistake or error in judgment--we can beat ourselves up for years! I'd just like to propose a gentle reminder that we can let go of some of that guilt and, chances are, everyone around us--including ourselves--will be the better for it.

I have experienced some major guilt battles and bouts of anxiety-riddled guilt--over decisions I made or didn't make, life choices, and, strangely enough--over things I had absolutely no control over. I'm not sure if that is a mom or a woman thing, but I know I'm in good company with many of my female friends and we all tend to kick ourselves for things we really, truly had no say or control over--accidents and illnesses, acts of nature, etc. What's up with that?!

I finally decided that if I couldn't stop wallowing in guilty feelings for my own self, I needed to do it for my kids--especially my daughters. I really wanted them to grow up stronger and bolder and able to live their lives without being bogged down by guilt. I made up my mind that I was going to have to model some of that letting go if they were ever to have a chance. I adopted the mantra "I'm just a person too!" as my personal reminder that 1. I did not have nearly as much power as I was convinced I did and 2. I was a flawed, human being who was doing the best she could and didn't always have to be perfect (or pay!).

So, I think we should all band together and declare a national "Let Go of the Guilt Day"--and all the moms and women (and men, too) could just toss their weighty guilty feelings into the wind and start fresh. After all, guilt can keep us from being able to fully function and face the challenges that are happening "in the moment." We can become so weighted down with second-guessing ourselves that we are unable to do what needs to be done to keep our children safe and thriving. So, what do you say? Here's to letting go of the guilt!

See Also: Things I Once Said I'd Never Do and Learning to Trust Our Instincts

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