The other day I wrote about how I am still learning to listen. This is especially true in my relationship with my teen daughter. I referred to a book I am reading, “The 7 Desires of Every Heart.” One of the desires is to be heard, to be listened to. Once again something jumped off the page at me when I was reading further into the book. “Good listeners are those who don’t try and talk you out of your feelings.” Until I read that, I hadn’t recognized this as a problem for me. But I have been getting really … Continue reading →

I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard my teenage daughter express in exasperation, “You never listen to me.” I am always flabbergasted and get defensive. How could she possibly say that I don’t listen? I am always here, always available. It wasn’t until I happened to start reading a book the same night we had the aforementioned exchange when I realized how right she was. I really don’t listen to her. The book is called “The Seven Desires of Every Heart” by Mark and Debra Laaser. The first chapter provides a summary of what the rest … Continue reading →

Okay, so I really doubt that any parent’s goal is to push their teen away. My hope is that this blog series gets your attention though. Because we may be doing the very thing we don’t mean to do. I know I have. One of the first ways you can push your teen away is to not listen to them. This can play out a couple of different ways. The first is that you are quicker about responding or reacting than you are listening. One of the Bible verses that I often rely upon in parenting is this: “Everyone should … Continue reading →

I am definitely not an expert at parenting. I still have three children living at home with several years left, so I don’t claim to know it all. But there are some things I have learned that I believe could be a huge benefit to other parents. Even in the advice that I pass along, it doesn’t necessarily mean I have it down pat. I might still be working on it myself, which is the case here. If I could wrap up in one sentence what I would want to say to any parent when it comes to communication with … Continue reading →

I have come to a very important realization as a parent. I may be a great listener but I don’t always hear. It wasn’t that long ago I was dealing with my 14-year-old daughter on an issue that stirred a lot of emotions on both sides. I had my point of view and she had hers. When she was explaining her side, I was listening. But she kept insisting that I wasn’t. I found the conversation to be exasperating. What did she mean I wasn’t listening? My eyes were on her, weren’t they? I was standing right in front of … Continue reading →

Today in part 7 of my series, “How to Push Your Teen Away,” we are going to be talking about criticizing their style. This can be a huge problem. It is not enough that society sometimes judges teens by how they look but they don’t need their parents adding to it. I remember the day my daughter was first allowed to wear eyeliner. She started off with applying just a bit. Then as time progressed, she began to look more and more like a raccoon. It drove me nuts. I was constantly telling her to take some off. Then one … Continue reading →

If you are the parent of a teen, then you know how difficult communication can be at times. If it’s not a breakdown of communication, it is miscommunication. Either one can get you in trouble. So how does a parent find a way to communicate with their teen when it feels like they are dealing with a clam? You know the type…they won’t open their mouth for anything. They feel uncomfortable being put on the spot and made to feel that they have to talk. One way is to not make it so formal. Talking with your teen doesn’t have … Continue reading →