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“Let me See if I’m Understanding You…”

Communication challenges are not the sole domain of the single parent, to be sure, but I know that developing strong bonds of communication has been a priority for me with my kids. Even though we are not always together (or because we are not always together) and as my children have gotten older, making sure that I am teaching them about good communication and developing my own skills has been important. One of the things I have learned (and it took several years) was how to clarify and show them that I am listening and hearing what they say without … Continue reading →

The Healing Comfort of Family Words

Some years ago I studied post graduate Solution Focused Therapy under Dr Robert McNeilly. He had just coauthored “Healing with Words” and since then I have been interested in the traditional family words that have far greater positive meaning than anyone else could possibly realize. Ours are “Stars and Moon” and “I love you 50”, – they each mean the same thing. Both are short for: “I love you 50 thousand million trillion AND all the way to the sun, the moon, around the stars and back again.” The history of these statements are modern, founded in the wonderful child’s … Continue reading →

Sexual Abuse of Boys: Mebe’s Personal Story.

Mebe (fictious name chosen by the person concerned) was seven when a family friend started paying him a lot of attention. The friend would seek Mebe out, buy him sweets, take him on outings and treated him as a prince. Because Mebe’s parents were busy with their jobs and their other children, they were grateful that Mebe had some individual attention from such a nice, responsible man. Mebe’s behaviour became worse and worse. He did graffiti on walls, other’s property and wrote rude notes at school. Mebe was in trouble at school, home and in his heart. He was trying … Continue reading →

How Do I know if a Child is Being Abused?

Every parent’s fear is that their child will be abused. There are four different types of abuse: Neglect, Emotional, Physical and Sexual. There are common physical and behavioral signs that may indicate any of these types of abuse. The presence of one of these signs does not necessarily mean abuse or neglect. When I am assessing for likelihood of abuse, I look for clusters of the signs. If I see many of the signs together, I begin to suspect abuse and I report to a Government body (Police or Welfare) who can investigate and protect the child. Although every family’s … Continue reading →

The Five Steps to Group Development.

This is the follow-on article from How to Grow a Families Leader: The Eight Characteristics of Leadership. Using the example of Families.com as our group, how can we each develop the stated eight characteristics in ourselves? While Lisa Pietsch may be seen as the leader of Families.com (she’s the community manager), group dynamics would suggest that we each have a role to play in ensuring our group’s survival through a systematic understanding of group stages. Bruce Tuckman (educational psychologist) is honored with establishing the five stages of group development. How do these five stages fit Families.com? We have undergone two … Continue reading →