Milk Spoils, Babies Do Not!by Nicki Bradley | More from this Blogger 09 Mar 2006 10:27 AM Who hasn't heard that well-meaning criticism, "You are spoiling that baby!". Ok, well *I* have heard it more times than I can count. There is a whole generation of adults who believe that there is a direct correlation between spoiled, demanding bratty children and parental love and affection. I'm not really sure how this got started but I wish it would go away, already! For the last time, let's lay this myth to rest! Babies are not milk, they can not spoil. Their wants ARE their needs. They have one method of communication - crying. If we don't answer their cries, we are not teaching them resilience or independence. We are teaching our children loneliness, fear, panic, hunger, abandonment and isolation. We have enough scientific evidence now, based on decades of research, to understand how bonding happens and how well-adjusted children are nurtured and we KNOW that leaving them to cry, ignoring their needs and "teaching" them to rely on themselves for comfort is damaging. Of course maybe our parents or grandparents didn't have that scientific or medically-supported information to base their parenting decisions on. As so we cried. And if it was good enough for us and we survived....certainly it must be good enough for our children, right? Wrong. We can both love and parent and nurture our children AND respect that our parents and grandparents did the very best they could with the information THEY had at the time. We are one and the same, in that way. So the next time someone tells you to "Stop spoiling that baby!" try out one of these lines to lay the myth to rest:
Learn more about Nicki Bradley  I live in the suburbs of Detroit and I'm happily re-married with six children (3 his, 2 mine, 1 ours) ranging in age from 3.5 to 12. Relevantparenting tags User Comments riveneuphoria (137) 27 Apr 2007 05:51 PMI just had my second son and my husband keeps telling me that I am going to spoil him. I don't let him cry, I try to find out what's wrong, and sometimes he just wants to cuddle. I don't think holding him is spoiling him. He spent 9 months inside me and still needs that closeness. I lay him on my chest and he curls himself into a tiny ball, the fetal position, and listens to my heartbeat to go to sleep. Hubby says I have him spoiled because he doesnt like to lay in his bed, he cries. But he is tiny and even though I have him in a travel bed, about the size of a bassinet, I don't think he feels secure enough. It is still a big space. I have found other ways to get him quiet, like letting him curl up in the center of the Boppy pillow. or putting it inside the travel bed. But with being a breastfeeding mom, nothing beats him being with me. I dont think it is possible to spoil an infant. They only cry when they are hungry, need a change, or need comfort. It is a big big world. He is only 1 week and 2 days old.  Valorie Delp (49340) 28 Apr 2007 06:43 AMI wrote a blog recently called "Why I Spoil My Babies" from the perspective of a mom who has slightly older children. Check it out. Community Tags babies, discipline, education, health, infants, Kids, love, newborns, parenting Discuss this article
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