Now or Later?

by Myra Turner | More from this Blogger

30 Apr 2007 07:19 AM

If you have kids who procrastinate, here's a technique that might help. It's called The Now or Later Technique. Dr. Jerry Day describes it and like his behavior shaping technique mentioned in a previous blog, this is one of those techniques that you shouldn't try unless you can see it through to the end. There's a good chance you will be inconvenienced initially but if you are persistent, you probably won't have to do it again.

Let's look at a child who procrastinates when it comes to cleaning his room. The first step is to give your child a directive, "I need you to clean your room," for example. From past experiences, your child always says "okay" but proceeds to continue watching TV, playing video games, etc. Say nothing more. Wait about an hour and return to your child and say, "I see that you still haven't cleaned your room yet. Do you want to clean it now or later?" In most cases, your child will say, "later." Tell him, "Okay, but I will decide when it's later." And then go on your merry way. Day recommends that at this point you become the most pleasant parent on the planet, have fun with your child and don't think of mentioning the task.

When your child is sound asleep that night, go to his room with a cool, wet towel and wake him up. When he wakes up, announce that it is now "later". Give your child the option of doing the task now or later. Of course, most kids will say, "later" and snooze back off to Slumberland. Let your child know again that you will remind him when it is later. Continue this ritual every ten minutes or so. Day says that eventually your child will get the message that he won't be able to sleep until he takes care of the task.

While your child is cleaning his room, you are to stand by and supervise everything that he does. Be tough and picky but also pleasant. Once your child finishes the task, compliment him on making the right decision, hug, kiss him, and wish him happy dreams.

Then wake him up early the next morning. If it's a weekend, don't let him sleep until noon the next day. However, don't get him up to punish him, make him a nice breakfast, for instance. Day says he has recommended this technique to parents for thirty years with great success. After one sleepless night, the next time you ask your child if he wants to clean his room or perform other tasks, now or later, he will make the right decision.

See also:

Creating A Positive Home Environment

Three-Level Method of Discipline

Learn more about Myra Turner

I'm a proud mid-life single mom with an active seven-year-old son, Tyler.

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