Older Kids Need to Hear You're Proud of Them Too

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

When our children are small, it seems it is all encouragement and positive reinforcement. As they get older, however, those moments of pride can get fewer and farther apart. Our kids don't always make the wisest choices and some days they may be downright unlikeable, but they still really need to hear that mom and dad are proud of them.

I think that there is a great deal that we parents can learn from our children as they grow and one of the things is how to praise them for efforts, attempts, striving to be independent, and just staying in the struggle. As we look at those gangly, snarky adolescents and teenagers, it can be a real struggle to figure out exactly what we can be proud of. Some days, we might be as embarrassed of our children as they are of us! I have definitely found that one can go both ways. But, don't you still feel a swelling sense of pride over some things that your child is doing and becoming? When you really think about it, aren't you proud that he gets up and goes to school, or how unselfishly she plays soccer or basketball. Finding reasons and opportunities to share heartfelt praise may be challenging, but I think it is more needed by older kids than by anyone!

They are good kids, they are just in periods of trial and transition. I have learned that just finding those reasons to be proud and sharing it with my kids occasionally changes the way I feel about being a parent of adolescents. Finding something to feel good about when it comes to your kids during a difficult time, and coming up with a reason to say something positive for a change-can make a huge difference in the self esteem of both of you!

Also: What Do I Say When People Ask Me About Teenagers?

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