Parental Alienation Syndrome: The Ugly Side Of Parenting Part I

by Myra Turner | More from this Blogger

26 Sep 2006 10:36 AM

When a couple decides to call it quits, quite often it's the kids who suffer. We've all heard about high-profile celebrity custody battles but many more battles are being waged daily by parents whose name you would not recognize. Recently a new form of child abuse has begun to surface. It goes by the name of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and it is an ugly game played out by sick parents whose only goal is hurting their former partner. Instead, their children are the one who are hurt.

PAS is nothing more than brainwashing and manipulation of a child by one parent, in an attempt to destroy the child's relationship with the other parent. These so-called parents put their own needs and hatred before the needs of their own children. Kids subjected to these mind game are damaged emotionally and many times the damage can be seen even into adulthood.

One of the first signs that a child affected by PAS may display is a severe opposition to contact with one parent or overt hatred toward them with no apparent reason for their behavior.

It should be noted that in some cases the pattern of alienation begins without any malicious intent. Parents may not realize that some of their subtle behaviors or comments can cause a strain on their child's relationship with the other parent. Over time the parent realizes that they can manipulate their child and then they begin to purposefully attempt to damage this parent-child relationship.

Some of the warning signs include the following:

A child who blames one parent for the financial difficulties of the other parent.

A child who suddenly starts acting negatively toward a parent or seems uneasy around a parent, or acts rudely toward a parent.

Court ordered or agreed upon visitation does not take place. Also, allowing the child to choose whether or not to visit the parent, setting up tempting activities that would interfere with visitation. Or the reverse, rigid enforcement of the visitation schedule.

Part II will list some additional warning signs.

Learn more about Myra Turner

I'm a proud mid-life single mom with an active seven-year-old son, Tyler.

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