Parenting when You're Away from Your Kids

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

07 Feb 2008 10:31 AM

This is not going to be an article about parenting from afar, but I have been thinking about the work and the things I do as a parent and for my kids when I am not with them. We tend to think of parenting and "parenting time" as the time we are actually correcting, talking to, disciplining, or caring for our children directly. But I do think that the time we spend away from them-preparing, working on issues, solving problems, etc. is just as important. You might even say that the more effort put into the non-parenting parenting, the more prepared you'll be when you're in the trenches.

I think it can come as a surprise to new parents to discover that even when they get that much-needed break from their child, they are still thinking about them. How many parents find themselves out on a well-planned "date night" only to spend the evening problem-solving and talking about the kids? I have attended parenting classes and counseling sessions, read books, and spent time journaling trying to figure out how to be a better parent-all so that I could be more "present" when I was actually with my children.

I know that it is probably better for my mental health to be able to get completely away from parenting once in a while and as my kids have gotten older, I've been able to carve out a little more non-parenting time, but I also think that time I spend "parenting" when I'm not actually with my children is beneficial too. I think of it as studying, working on being a better mom, or problem-solving with a clear mind and fresh perspective-whatever it is, I know that even when I am not with my kids, I am still working on being a decent and involved parent.

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