Adoption Blog in Month in Review: June, Part Two

I reflect on my co-blogger Lyn’s blog in the Education Blog about teen-age girls making a pact to get pregnant and raise their babies together. Teen mothers who plan adoption for their babies are less likely to go on welfare than those who parent as teens. Unfortunately, most mothers choosing adoption are young adults—teenagers often decide to parent. Of course, some teen moms do a fine job—but these girls will quickly realize it’s no lark. My blog Wild Horses Couldn’t Drag Me Away from You cautions that some doctors’ and dentists’ comments and policies regarding keeping parents out can be … Continue reading

Should Young Kids Watch Movies Where a Child Dies?

The other day Tyler wanted to rent Bridge to Terabithia and I admit I was reluctant to do so as first. I was concerned because one of the main characters, who happens to be a young girl, dies. I read the book years ago when I was in school and although I enjoyed it, I recalled the shock of her death. I also knew that although the book is read in many schools, it has also been on the list of banned books several times. We’ve had the talk about death but mainly in the context of adults dying. Several … Continue reading

Preparing Kids for Aging Grandparents

Aging is a fact of life, but, that doesn’t make it any less challenging. Sure, it is one of those main, major realities that we have to learn to face and deal with–but while we are wrestling with our own aging issues, as parents, we also have to help our children learn how to cope with aging. Watching as grandparents get older, and perhaps get ill and die can be one of the most traumatic pieces of childhood. Children who are able to have close, affectionate relationships with grandparents have enriched lives. But, the closer they are, the more painful … Continue reading

Do You Have a Living Will?

Many people don’t like to think about — or talk about — death. But it may be wise to think about the shape you’d like the end of your life to take now… before someone else has to make the decision for you. In the summer of 2001, my paternal grandmother passed away. It was somewhat unexpected — she had been living with Parkinson’s disease, but was largely stable. It was my paternal grandfather who had been very sick that same summer, and he was the one we were worried about. When Gramma died, we started making plans for her … Continue reading

Illness and Death in the Extended Family, Part Two—Older Children and Teens

I wrote earlier today, introducing this topic of helping our children to cope with the illness and death of a family member. Many of our children have been shielded from death and it can be confusing, overwhelming and traumatic. With older children and teens, they may be expected to understand more or participate on a more personal level and there are ways we parents can help older kids learn healthy ways of coping and dealing with grief and the stress that can surround an illness and death. I have found the important thing to remember is that each of our … Continue reading

A Death in the “Other Family”

Even though we may be separated or divorced from our child’s other parent, most of us single parents are not ever completely separated from our ex in-laws or the “other” family. After all, these people are often still involved with our children and they are part of our children’s lives even if they do not really feel like they are part of ours. When there is a death in our children’s other family, it can be challenging and confusing for us as to what our role is and how to help our children deal with the loss and grief. Our … Continue reading

Illness and Death in the Extended Family, Part One

Death is so much a part of life, but in our society, we are often shielded from the constant ordinariness of dying. Our children, in particular, may live to be quite old before they are ever around someone who is dying or experience death in the extended family. We know longer live in tight little tribes and keep our family members around us throughout the life span. I think that this is the main reason that when there is an illness and death in the extended family, it can be disorienting and challenging for children (not to mention their parents.) … Continue reading