Search Results for: blog spreading calm or chaos

Can You Guide your Family Calmly?

Being the sole authority in your family and being in charge does not mean that you need to be the person who yells the loudest or even talks the loudest and the longest. For some of us, we get confused that being in charge means holding court and forcing things our way. As the authority of a single parent family, however, staying calm and providing firm, yet calm guidance can make for a much healthier, happier family. We know that decisions and actions we make when we are calm are usually better and have a more positive effect on our … Continue reading →

Spreading Calm or Chaos?

When I was growing up, my mother used to refer to one particular mood or behavior as “spreading hate and discontent”—it usually referred to a crabby person who was just going around causing grief, grumbling, and picking arguments with other family members. I still think of that phrase on days when someone in my family is so crabby it is spilling over onto everyone else. BUT, there are also those times when peace and calm can get spread around too… Of course, I am definitely lumping myself in with those family members who have the ability to spread calm or … Continue reading →

Is This Your Child? Bullies and Bad Behavior

We have had a marvelous winter snow. I know that for many of you, this is not a very big deal–in fact, it can be pretty common place, but here in the Pacific Northwest–a fluffy white snow with enough accumulation to play in here on the valley floor is a very big deal indeed. This morning, I watched out my window while I was working as a neighborhood dad and his 3-year-old son worked for nearly an hour building what may have been the child’s first snow man. Then, a half-hour later, I watched as a gang of 4, 6-7-year-olds … Continue reading →

Preparing for Difficult Situations

It is not only single parents and single parent families who deal with difficult situations and circumstances, true—but there are some situations that we single parents get that the average two-parent family doesn’t: custody battles and conversations, court appearances, meetings with exes and ex-in-laws, possible counseling, mediation and therapy meetings, meeting with grief counselors, lawyers, etc.—you get the picture. While each of these circumstances is unique and each person’s life asks different things of them, there are things that we can do as single parents to prepare ourselves and our children for these difficult and challenging situations. I believe that … Continue reading →

How Do You Know if They Are Too Crabby for Public?

You’ve started out the door on an outing or an errand—you absolutely have to get to the store, the library, the bank, and the school. Your child has had a nap, even though she was a bit on the cranky side earlier in the morning. Once she gets in the car, though, she starts whining and complaining—should you abort the mission? What if she throws a fit on line at the library? Should you push on? How do you know if your child is just too crabby for public? Well, how much can you handle and how much should everyone … Continue reading →

Sometimes Guidance Must be Subtle

Often it seems very clear to us as parents that we must step in and be direct and “take charge” when it comes to guiding and parenting our children. Especially when they are younger and we need to keep them safe and make sure lessons are very clear and concise. As our children get older, however, sometimes we need to take a much lighter hand. Our guidance and parenting often has to be much more subtle… I have found that learning how to guide my children from more of an advisory or facilitator’s role has been one of the hardest … Continue reading →