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Do Children Make You Happier?

What role do children play in a parent’s happiness?  Do we find more joy in raising these youngsters or is there a longing for B.C. days (before children)? Apparently new research indicates that yes, parents are happier than those who don’t have children.  However, those with children that are the least happy are single and young parents. In fact, these groups may even be less happy than childless adults. Some have argued that the results are skewed because they didn’t differentiate between parents of babies and those with adult children.  Clearly the age of a child will make a significant … Continue reading →

Fostering Teen Individuality and Independence

We all want to be who we want to be.  Most adults feel this way, so you can only imagine how true this is for teenagers. This is where individuality comes into play.  As parents we have to learn how to foster this.  At the same time, as our teens get older, we also need to foster independence.  They need to be ready for that time in which they leave home. As soon as you try to stifle a teen’s individuality or you don’t allow for healthy growth toward independence, you stand in the way of having a good relationship.  … Continue reading →

A Patchwork of the Ordinary

I am starting to get our house ready to be put up for sale. This means going through areas of the home and getting rid of stuff that I don’t want to move. One of the big areas that I tackled this week was the bookshelves, mostly filled with books but also with picture albums and scrapbooks. As I began to flip through them, my heart was pricked. Had it really been that long ago my children were so little? I started thinking about the events that filled those pages—everything from birthday parties, vacations, church programs, visits to the amusement … Continue reading →

No More Control?

Something I recently heard on Dr. Phil has really stuck me with me. It was about an out-of-control teen that was on the verge of turning 18. The parents had very little time left to do something while she was still under their control. Dr. Phil said something along the lines that when your child turns 18, you can’t control them but you can influence them. It’s something I am tucking away in my heart, as I venture closer to the day my oldest turns 18 (in just over two months). What about if your 18-year-old lives at home? Can … Continue reading →

Thinking about Those “Lasts”

Lately I have been thinking those “lasts.” You know, the last time you do something in parenting. Like the last time I changed a diaper. The last time I held my child’s hand. The last time I was awoken in the middle of the night because my child was scared. The last time I stepped on a Lego. We tend to spend a lot of time dwelling on the firsts…the first tooth, the first steps, the first word, the first day of school, the first time behind the wheel. These are such important moments in our children’s lives. But we … Continue reading →

Being Stretched as a Parent in Letting Go

This must be my week of being stretched as a parent. We are already in the midst of working with a recruiter for my 17-year-old son who wants to join the Air Force after he graduates in June. Now my daughter has come to me with an opportunity to go to Germany next spring. I am still trying to deal with the prospect of my oldest son leaving us. But now my daughter wants permission to leave our country in her sophomore year and spend 10 days visiting Germany, Italy and Switzerland. This is a trip she would be taking … Continue reading →

The Reality of Letting Go

“Can I talk to you?” Whenever your teen comes to you with that question and a serious look on their face, you can’t help but brace yourself. That was the question my 17-year-old came to me with earlier this week. I could feel my chest tightening and my heart started racing. He is never this serious…what could he possibly have to ask me that he would even have to sit down next to me? Then this followed, “Can we meet with an Air Force recruiter?” Well that definitely threw me for a loop. I thought “we” had decided on the … Continue reading →

You’re Always the Expert Until You Get to That Stage

What I am about to say doesn’t just apply to others…it is something I have been guilty of as well. It is the mentality that you “know” the right way to parent, the right way to handle a child at a particular stage of life. Or at least you know what you will and won’t do. But then suddenly you are finally in that stage and all of your “knowing” goes flying right out the window. Most of the families I surround myself with have teenage children. But there are also other families whose children are younger and I once-in-a-while … Continue reading →

Have You Become More Relaxed With Each Child in Parenting?

There is something I have noticed about parents, myself included. It seems that with each child you have, you tend to become more relaxed. Now that can be a good thing but it can also be a negative. I think the day I realized I had become more relaxed by my third child was several years ago at church. I was in a church service, taking advantage of the childcare we have available. Our children get a number and if you saw your child’s number on the screen, it meant you were needed. My number went up. It was for … Continue reading →

Fleeting Moments

It’s the final stretch before summer vacation for my children, just one week left and I have mixed feelings. A part of me is ready to get it over with. No more waking kids up early, rushing out the door and making sure things haven’t been forgotten. No more rushing from one school to the next and then back out the door a few hours later to pick up. No more “Have you done your homework yet?” or checking grades online. No more emails to teachers or parent/teacher conferences. But then I think about the fact that it also means … Continue reading →