Stranger Danger and the Preschoolerby Michele Cheplic | More from this Blogger 19 May 2009 01:31 PM The good news is that my precious preschooler loves everyone she meets. The bad news is that my precious preschooler loves everyone she meets. From the day she was born I have heaped loads of love on my daughter, and I am not the only one. Family and friends treat her like gold. She is doted on, adored, and treasured. As a result of being showered with an endless supply of positive reinforcement and unconditional love, she is an extremely affectionate child. The flipside to her huggy personality is that she is completely oblivious to the dangers that lurk within psychopaths who prey on children just like her. To be honest, I had never given her the whole "stranger danger" concept much thought, until about two weeks ago, when I watched in utter horror as my daughter and her 4-year-old friend M willingly stuck their chubby little hands out to accept a treat from a perfect stranger at the park. I'm not sure who jumped off the wooden picnic bench first, M's mom or me. Regardless, we both flew over the 12 feet of grass that separated us from the girls, in well under two seconds. I am rarely at a loss for words, but in this instance, I gladly allowed M's mom to do the talking. Namely because if I had opened my mouth, "talking" would not be the word to describe what would have come out. The stranger turned out to be a nanny, who didn't speak a ton of English, so M's mom spared her from a full-blown lecture. The girls were not as lucky. I still don't know if the girls "got it," though M's mom is now more determined than ever to set up mock stranger danger drills for our daughters to participate in. I guess it couldn't hurt. Still, I'm not wholly convinced that the stranger danger message is very effective. Most children describe a "stranger" as someone who is ugly looking or mean. Many kids don't perceive attractive or friendly people as "strangers." What's more, if a person talks to a child or is exposed to the child more than once, that person loses his or her "stranger" status. Consequently, the "stranger danger" message becomes muddled and confusing for children since they can't tell by looking at someone whether or not the person is "good" or "bad." Still, I can't just ignore what happened at the park the other day. I plan to take the necessary precautions to protect my child, regardless of the cost. I just hope it works. What advice do you have to share on the subject of stranger danger? Related Articles: Warning to Parents: Watch Your Kids... Especially at Chuck E. Cheese Parents Coming to Their Children's Defense Has Becoming a Parent Made You a Better Person? Can You Miss Your Kids Too Much? Learn more about Michele Cheplic  Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism. Relevantparenting tags User Comments michelewelsh (5) 31 May 2009 09:29 AMHi Michele! This is a good read and important to discuss. My kids describe a stranger as "no teeth and a big black coat". Hmmm. Plan B. So now I quiz them in situations: "was that man/woman nice?" "yes" "was he/she a stranger?" It stumps them, but we're working on it. Hard to say that the wonderful woman who just told them how well-behaved they are is a stranger. Heady stuff. Once they have identified WHO a stranger is, then teaching kids "not to talk to strangers" is equally hard, and it just doesn't work for our family. They see me break that rule all the time! I'm chatty with everyone. "Mommy, why did you just talk to that stranger?" Instead of teaching our kids not to talk with strangers, we encourage it. I would rather my kids be confident holding a conversation with adults, than to be afraid of it. Expressing themselves clearly and confidently to ANYONE gives them important life skills and the ability to say "NO!!" to a "stranger". We teach them to never ACCEPT anything from someone we don't know and never GO ANYWHERE with anyone. It's a delicate balance we face each day: How do we protect them without making them paranoid? Hope this helps the conversation. Love your posts! Sincerely, Michele Welsh http://www.safetytat.com Discuss this article
|
Parents categories |
