Strong Sibling Bonds

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

26 Jul 2007 03:10 PM

We tend to focus on the ways that siblings fight and squabble and DON'T get along as we look for ways to combat sibling rivalry. Many of us who have had more than one child really hope that our children will grow up with strong and lasting sibling bonds and wonder what we can do to make that reality more likely?

The hope of close sibling bonds was one of the reasons I chose to have my kids close together. With each of them barely a year apart, they have grown up in a cluster or a clan and they do have fond memories of all the group play they did as little ones. However, because they are so close in age, they have also had intense battles and had to work hard to differentiate themselves from one another. As anyone who has lived in a family with several siblings knows, independence and identity can be hard-fought battles.

The one thing I do know is that childhood fighting or pleasantries are not necessarily an indication of what an adult relationship will be like. Sometimes, kids who fight like cats and dogs end up as extremely close adults. I have a friend who didn't even talk to her brother at all during their teenage years and now they talk regularly and even take occasional vacations together. Letting kids work things out for themselves and define their own relationships may be the best way to foster a strong bond. If siblings learn how to deal with each other-instead of working through the parents-they may have more lasting bonds in the long run. But, the truth is, sibling relationships adjust and morph over the years and it really is an ongoing, long-lasting connection that will go beyond childhood-kids just need to work out the evolving particulars for themselves.

Also: Drama of Sibling Rivalry

How to Combat Sibling Rivalry

To Separate or Not to Separate--Twins in the Classroom

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