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When Losing Privileges Doesn’t Work

Taking away or losing privileges is one of the mainstays of parental discipline. Many of us find that next to time-outs, losing privileges becomes a good logical consequence to misbehavior. Of course, not all methods of discipline work well with all children, however, and there are those for whom losing privileges just does not seem to be a deterrent. Some kids care about stuff and things and some just are not very attached to items so losing the use of a bicycle or an apparently cherished toy or video game just does not seem to affect them like it does … Continue reading →

Keep in Mind, Many Things are Privileges

I think that one of the places parents can get confused is when it comes to discerning the difference between automatic “rights” and entitlements that our children must have and privileges–those things that are granted or awarded based on behavior or trust. Even if activities or things are good for the child overall, they may still be a privilege. For example, playing sports or extra-curricular activities are privileges, as is driving, playing with friends, or going to the movies. As parents, we can help our children develop character and responsibility by helping them to understand what are their natural rights … Continue reading →

When Things Get Out of Control…Abort the Activity

Sometimes, the best laid plans and parenting tricks are not enough to keep the trip to the grocery store, church, or movie theatre from going sour. Instead of trying to force the issue and forge ahead when misbehavior, crankiness or temper tantrums set in–it is a far better parenting choice to abort the activity and leave. Often, just taking a break and getting some fresh air is all you need, other times it may be a better choice to go home and finish the activity at another time. I don’t know how many times I have been in a grocery … Continue reading →