Search Results for: blog talk softlyand they might listen

When They Say They Don’t Care, It Often Means They DO

“I don’t care what you say!” or “I don’t care what happens”–how many times does a parent hear that in the course of raising a child? I have found, however, that when a child is touting how much he does NOT care about something, it generally is his way of covering up for the fact that he really does care. Now, this doesn’t mean that we try to force the issue as parents and tell our child, “Of course you care!” as he will just balk and refuse even more. But, it does give us insight into the fact that … Continue reading →

Can You Guide your Family Calmly?

Being the sole authority in your family and being in charge does not mean that you need to be the person who yells the loudest or even talks the loudest and the longest. For some of us, we get confused that being in charge means holding court and forcing things our way. As the authority of a single parent family, however, staying calm and providing firm, yet calm guidance can make for a much healthier, happier family. We know that decisions and actions we make when we are calm are usually better and have a more positive effect on our … Continue reading →

Sometimes, the Answer is Just “No”

As you may imagine, with teenagers in the house, there is often a fair amount of “negotiation” around things. It becomes less about setting down firm rules and expecting obedience and more about finding a happy medium between authority and free reign. I think that is why it can be so shocking (and powerful) when I say “no” and mean it—no amount of negotiation is likely to change my mind. Recently, my son wanted to get a particular game for his Play Station and while I tend to be rather lenient about such things now that my kids are older, … Continue reading →

Words That Make Things Worse

As a parent, it really can make a huge difference how we talk to our children—not only what we are saying to them, but how we go about saying. I am of the opinion that there are words and communication strategies that help and those that just make things worse… Confrontational language like “You better!” or “You better not!” is language that tends to be combative and invite disobedience. I also think that the more “negative” words you use when you talk with your child the more likely it is that the conversation or interaction will take a negative turn. … Continue reading →