Thank Goodness For Mentors!

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

11 Dec 2006 01:52 PM

It hadn't really dawned on me until my son commented recently, "How come all your new friends are older?" I had to think a bit before answering, I hadn't realized that recently I had added a few friends to my social circle and they were all at least ten years older than me. For someone who has normally socialized with people close to my own age, I could see why my son was wondering what I was up to?

I think I am at a place in my life where I was really craving the relaxed experience of some mentors. Not to mention that age takes on different dimensions as we get older-the age difference between 40 and 50 doesn't seem nearly as dramatic as the age difference between 20 and 30. My son was right, my social world was aging.

I'm sure it has something to do with my being the single mom of teenagers. When my kids were younger-preschool and school-age, I spent a great deal of time with other parents of kids the same age. We could share carpools and play dates and related well to each other since we were in the same place. With a house full of adolescents, I needed the wisdom and humor of people who were "on the other side"-I needed to hear that everything was going to be all right and that there was light at the end of the tunnel. I get that from older women who've raised their children or are already grandmothers.

There's an added perspective that comes from connecting with non-related parenting mentors. I never would have thought I'd have anything in common with women who were closer to my mother's age than my own, but I find them inspiring. Still active and happily adjusting to a life with less domestic responsibility, these older women give me a great glimpse at life after teenagers. While still devoted mothers and grandmothers, they've mastered the dance of letting go and redefining their relationship with their kids and have opened themselves up to the larger world. It helps me to keep my eye on the future and not get bogged down in the daily stressors of raising teens.

Without really consciously intending to seek out mentors, I've been blessed by the gift of some wise, relaxed and saucy new friends. The encouragement is taking hold...there is life after teenagers!

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