Search Results for: blog the pitfalls of praise

The Pitfalls of Praise

Praising our kids is a good thing to do. But too much or the wrong type of praise can sometimes actually be counter-productive. In his book, The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy, Children, John Redmond cautions parents about the pitfalls of praise. Redmond says that most parents feel our kids need a lot of praise and that all praise is good. Both of these assumptions are false, he says. Our kids do need praise but not as much as many of us think. Furthermore, praise can me either constructive or destructive. As an example he cites a study … Continue reading →

How to Raise a Moral Child

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All parents hope to raise children that have good moral values. But, how does one do it? The short answer to that question has to do with they way a parent praises a child for doing good things. The words you use make a huge difference! Adam Grant, a professor of management and psychology at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, wrote a very detailed piece for the New York Times called “Raising a Moral Child”. In it, he explains the results of different studies that tried to discern what parents could do to raise a moral child. … Continue reading →

How To Get Your Kids To Listen To You

“Are you listening to me?” How many times a day do you find yourself saying these five little words to your kids? Sometimes your kids aren’t listening because they are engaged in a more exciting activity but many times kids simply tune you out. One reason for this is because we spend a lot of time telling our kids to “do this” and “do that” or we lecture (i.e. nag) them. When we open our mouth they have grown to expect that what we are about to say won’t be pleasing, so they will tune you out. What you have … Continue reading →

Positive Reinforcement: Non-material Rewards Are Just As Effective

As parents we often spend many hours attempting to change our kids behavior by a little method known as correcting. This works for many kids but parents should also realize that a better method is the use of positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is simply rewarding your child with something desirable after a behavior occurs. In most cases the reward then assures that the behavior will occur again. The reward does not have to be something material or costly, it can be a hug, a special snack, extra time with mom or dad, etc. For many kids, these types of reward … Continue reading →

An Easy Solution To Attention-Seeking Behavior

It never fails. As soon as I get on the phone, Tyler has to interrupt me to show me something or tell me something. I’ve explained to him that when I am on the phone he’s not to interrupt me unless it’s an emergency or something extremely urgent. Of course to him everything is urgent. Short of never having a conversation when he’s around or locking myself in the bathroom, what are my options? I understand that he does this to get my attention but it’s not fair, I cry. I should be able to have a conversation with someone … Continue reading →

Allowing Your Child To Fail

Book Review: Allow Your Child To Fail If You Want Them To Succeed, by Dr. Avril Beckford For some parents the slogan, “Failure is not an option,” is their mantra. But in her new book, “Allow Your Children to Fail if You Want Them to Succeed”, Dr. Avril Beckford, an Atlanta pediatrician, tells parents that it’s okay for our kids to fail. In fact, failure will ultimately lead to success. The book provides parents with proven tools and methods that the doctor has used in her 20 years of professional practice. The book is different from a lot of parenting … Continue reading →