Search Results for: blog the role of adaptation in parenting

The Role of Adaptation in Parenting

Sometimes I think that it is not so much ME that is raising my kids, but that they are raising me. There is definitely plenty of give and take and I have had to adapt to them as much as they have had to adapt to me. In the world I grew up in, I often heard “This is my house and I make the rules!” or “It’s my way or the highway.” Even though I am the one in charge, that isn’t really the way my family works. Over the years, there has been a definite need for some … Continue reading →

Sometimes the Best Action is NO Action

As parents, do we always have to jump, respond and react to things our children say and do? The answer, of course, is No…I am not advocating ignoring our kids or looking the other way when they do something dangerous or unhealthy. In fact, I have often written about how important it is for us to stay involved and give our kids the attention and guidance they need. But, there are those times when our NOT reacting or taking action has a stronger influence than if we jump right in… I know it seems counter to so much that we … Continue reading →

We Don’t Have to React to Our Kid’s Opinions

I currently live in a land of opinions and opinionated teenagers. If there is one thing you can say about teenagers it is that they are very open with their developing ideas and opinions on things. While my kids used to say things like “We think this, don’t we mom?” when they were pleasing little grade-schoolers, now they are much more likely to share opinions and ideas that are in complete opposition of my own opinions and belief systems. Sometimes, of course, they are trying to get a “rise” out of me, but other times they are just working out … Continue reading →

Practicing What I Preach

Like most seasoned parents, I am often full of ideas, suggestions, and parenting advice. To hear me carry on, you would think that there is never anything that happens with my kids that I can’t and don’t handle with aplomb—well, that couldn’t be further from the truth… Recently I was chatting with an old friend of mine whose two children are in their late twenties. I have known this woman since her children were younger than mine are now so we have some shared parenting history! As I was telling her about some of my recent struggles, she started to … Continue reading →

You Can Count on Me

There are so many messages we parents want to impart to our children—many of us set out with very clear ideas about the sort of parents we want to be from the very beginning, while others of us figure out our parenting personae as we go along. With all the tasks and trials of parenting to worry over, I do think if we send them no other message, the message of unconditional love and support is the most important. I realized a year and a half or so ago, when my middle daughter was going through a rough time that … Continue reading →

Sometimes Guidance Must be Subtle

Often it seems very clear to us as parents that we must step in and be direct and “take charge” when it comes to guiding and parenting our children. Especially when they are younger and we need to keep them safe and make sure lessons are very clear and concise. As our children get older, however, sometimes we need to take a much lighter hand. Our guidance and parenting often has to be much more subtle… I have found that learning how to guide my children from more of an advisory or facilitator’s role has been one of the hardest … Continue reading →

Is it Real or Imagined?

Most of us parents have to deal with our children’s wild and wonderful imaginations at one time or another—whether it is imaginary friends, or monsters, or vivid nightmares. We parents can let our imaginations get the best of us too! When anxiety, fears, and stress seem to be your best parenting friend, it might be worthwhile to ask yourself if your concerns are real…or imagined? I’m here to tell you that I can imagine all sorts of fabulous and horrid things happening to my children. If one of them is 15 minutes late getting home, there have been times when … Continue reading →