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21 Jun 2008 12:17 PM

They Might Need to Hear it From Someone Else (Too)

by Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger

No matter how wise and forthcoming I think I am with my children, they are never as keen on my advice and wisdom as I imagine they should be-in fact, they are often downright resentful! Over the years, I have learned that often times it is not the advice that is sour-they just need to hear it from someone else.

I do not know why this is the case, but I definitely have witnessed it as my children have scoffed at my advice or suggestions and then heeded the exact same advice when it came from someone else. I do not know if it even registered when it came out of my mouth but it certainly seemed like a fine idea when someone else said it. Many of us parents experience this for the first time when our child goes off to school-suddenly the teacher is the smartest, most amazing person on earth and anything we say pales in comparison to what he or she might say.

Instead of getting upset or insulted because our kids do not always want advice from us, if we as parents understand this reality of human nature, we can use it to our advantage. If you know that your child will put up a block, perhaps you can get someone else to share the advice. I am constantly amazed how my kids will listen to their grandparents (the very same people that I did NOT want to listen to) and how open they are to what they have to say. Even when it is the very same thing I would say!

If your child will listen to another trusted adult-a grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, or friend-before they are apt to hear what you say, you might consider having that person share your message for you. This way you can share what you need to, without having the child tune you out because the information is coming from you. Sometimes, they just may need to hear it come from someone else.

Learn more about Kori Rodley Irons

Kori is a single parent of three older teenagers--two in college and one still in high school.

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