Search Results for: blog thinking like a parent but with empathy for the child

He is a Parent Too

Posted on by

Stay at home Moms sometimes get a lot of flak. But, as latter-day saint women, we know the importance of staying home, and fulfilling that righteous calling. But, sometimes, let’s be honest here, it doesn’t always feel so righteous. It feels like a struggle between survival and work. Lots of work. I saw an article in the Washington Post recently where a woman wrote in to a columnist, and wondered about her friends that were stay at home Moms. She wanted to know what they did all day, and why her friend couldn’t simply return a phone call once in … Continue reading →

Nurture by Nature – Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger

I don’t know about your children, but I know that what works for one of mine doesn’t necessarily work the others. And I rarely recognize my own children when I read parenting books. Nurture by Nature: Understand Your Child’s Personality Type—And Become a Better Parent is one parenting book where I not only caught glimmers of my own children, but found some helpful advice on raising their particular personality type. Personality Type was first devised by psychologist Carl Jung. The mother-daughter team of Katharine Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers expanded on his ideas. According to Myers-Briggs, there are sixteen basic … Continue reading →

Empathy, Sympathy or Pity?

Empathy in parenting, friendship, and life is important—it allows us to connect with other people and have rich and valuable relationships. Not only can we share our empathy with others, but we also need to feel it come in our direction. Sympathy is another one of those emotions of understanding that can be shared. Where we can get into trouble, however, is when empathy and sympathy become pity… I don’t know about you, but I do NOT want people to feel sorry for me and I know that when I find myself feeling sorry for other people, whether it is … Continue reading →

Why Didn’t I Think of That?

I was talking with another parent a while back and she was sharing some of her current challenges and concerns, I offered a word or two of advice–not really advice, but I shared how I had experienced some similar issues with my own children and what I had done about it. Her response was one I’ve had hundreds of times, and often while reading comments and blogs on this site, “Why didn’t I think of that?!” Often we just need a little nudging or an idea or two to get our own creative problem-solving juices going. What seemed like the … Continue reading →

We Know Better Than to Say: “I Told You So”

We know this, right? We parents know how it makes us feel when someone shakes their head at us and tells us “I told you so! I told you that would happen! Why didn’t you just listen to me? I tried to warn you.” We know intellectually that this isn’t a good technique, but it can be so hard to stop ourselves as parents. We also want our children to respect our authority and listen to us the NEXT time we try to give them advance warning. Sometimes that “I told you so” slips out before we can stop it. … Continue reading →

Are You Reacting Like a Grown-Up?

We talk about response and reaction here as parents—particularly how to respond to our children’s most challenging behaviors. Recently, a mom confessed to me that she had to learn how to have strong enough boundaries and respond to her child “like an adult”—to her, this meant not responding in kind to her child’s emotions: yelling back when he yelled, being petty or pouting when he acted that way to her. I think she is right in that it comes down to boundaries. Our relationships with our children can be so close and intense that we can have a hard time … Continue reading →

Thinking Like a Parent, But with Empathy for the Child

Okay, here is your quiz question for the day: How well do you remember being a child? And, the follow-up questions: Are there certain ages you remember being better than others? Are there triggers that make it difficult for you to remember that you’re the parent now and NOT still a child? Most of us bring our childhood experiences with us into parenting and we either want to right the wrongs that were done to us, do things completely different than our parents did, or sustain a pretty good or idyllic childhood. As parents, however, we have to remind ourselves … Continue reading →

Sometimes Personal Stories Help…And Sometimes They Don’t

I was raised on the Brady Bunch television show; one could even go so far as to brand me part of the “Brady Bunch” generation. One of the main things I remember about that program is how Mr. Brady was always using personal stories and platitudes as part of his parenting repertoire. In my own experience as a parent I have learned that sometimes personal stories DO help get a point across or make a connection, other times they either don’t work, or they actually make things worse. Personal stories can convey empathy and let our children know that we … Continue reading →

When Fairness Becomes Important

With three kids very close in age, trying to keep things fair and equitable has always been a family priority. But, I have noticed that not all of my kids have been as focused on “fairness” and, as a matter of fact, recently my fifteen-year-old son has become very focused on what is and isn’t fair—both within our household walls and out in the world at large. In doing a little research on child development, I find that this is a typical developmental process—trying to balance out what is going on in the world and around a person, with what … Continue reading →

Are You a Needy or High Maintenance Parent?

The other day one of my daughters was talking about one her friend’s parents and she referred to her as being “high maintenance.” I had to ask her what that meant? What does it mean when a parent is considered “high maintenance” by a seventeen-year-old? She said, “You know, it’s like she’s needy–she needs to be all involved and re-living her life through her kid.” This got me to thinking about healthy boundaries and how tough it can be to find that healthy balance between involvement and over-involvement–especially in today’s youth-centered culture. I definitely know of parents who get their … Continue reading →