Search Results for: blog using gifts and bribes

Some Kids don’t go in for Bribes

Positive reinforcement can be a fabulous parenting tool, as can using rewards for desired behavior and effort. There are those children, however, who can be tough cases—they just do not go in for bribes and rewards and it can be a real challenge for a parent to figure out how to influence the desired results. Charts, rewards, special privileges—all of these can be really great ways to motivate children. Not all children will go in for such things however. If a child already has everything and anything that he might desire, how will getting more “stuff” or privileges be a … Continue reading →

Using Gifts and Bribes

First of all, I want to admit right up front that I have definitely used “positive reinforcement” with my kids. I am not someone who thinks that we parents should never offer treats in order to encourage our children to behave or improve behavior, but I do think that we need to keep things in perspective. I realize that the using and giving of gifts and bribes in order to get our kids to do what we want them to, or what we think they should is controversial. But, like most things, I think there is a way to apply … Continue reading →

Punishing Your Cat

Let me say right off the bat that I’m a big believer in positive reinforcement. We’d all much rather be praised than punished, right? This holds true for our pets, too. In short, positive reinforcement means praising and/or rewarding your pet immediately after a good behavior. This teaches them to do the good things you want them to do. Your praise or reward encourages them to repeat the behavior. Sometimes, we lash out when we see a negative behavior. This could be anything from a cry of dismay, yelling the cat’s name, or a tap on the nose. We do … Continue reading →

Retraining a Stressed Cat

Sometimes, you can’t take the stress out of a cat’s environment. If seeing other animals outside the window is upsetting your cat, you can close the shades or not allow your cat into rooms with windows facing the street. However, if the stressor is something like a new pet or a new baby, you can’t really remove the source! In cases where you can’t remove the source of the stress, you can try desensitization and counterconditioning. Desensitization is exposing the animal gradually to the source of stress. Start with versions that are so mild that they don’t provoke anxiety — … Continue reading →

“If You Love Me, You Would…”

I believe there are things we say as parents that we might not even realize we are saying–either we have absorbed them from our own upbringing, or we get caught up in the moment and say these things. If someone were video-taping or recording us and we saw our own behaviors or language played back to us, we might be horrified. One of the things I hear parents say as a means to motivate their child is: “You would do XYZ, if you loved me” or “Don’t you love me enough to…(get good grades, clean your room, etc.). When you … Continue reading →