Search Results for: blog we cant always rescue our children

The Harmful “Him” vs. “Her”

I know that men and women think differently. My first impulse is to examine how much of that is natural and how much is a result of cultural conditioning, but that’s a study for another time, and really another blog. What I want to focus on today is the sort of “us” vs. “them” mentality that arises sometimes, and how that might affect marriages. I had to read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” for a high school health class. I found it abhorrent, and said as much in my paper on the book. I understand as much … Continue reading →

Allowing Teens to Learn from Their Mistakes

I think one of the most painful things to deal with as a parent is allowing your child to make mistakes. Now this isn’t the way every person parents. Some choose to exert so much control over their children’s lives that there is no room for mistakes to happen. But I tend to think this isn’t actually good for a child. At the same time, I struggle with allowing my children to make mistakes. Despite the necessity of it at times, I would much rather protect them from such. But I am beginning to really learn the importance of sometimes … Continue reading →

Are You a Meddling Mom?

The other day I was reading a devotional that really convicted my heart. It was about trusting in your own ways and interfering in other people’s business. Almost immediately what came to my mind were my children. It dawned on me that I had become a meddling mother. One of the things this devotional said was that if you are frantically trying to figure out what to do—panic mode—then this is a clue that we have to slow down, take a deep breath and most importantly…take a giant step back. There are many occasions as a parent in which we … Continue reading →

It’s Out of My Hands

So this week my 17-year-old son is in Haiti on a construction project. The first couple of days were extremely difficult for me. I didn’t sleep much, cried a little and thought about him constantly. As each day passes, it gets a little better. It’s also encouraging to know that as each day goes by, it also means getting closer to his return. And I am incredibly grateful for technology. While our phone service doesn’t allow for him to call or text, he is able to text us through his iPod. The house he is staying in has Wi-Fi and … Continue reading →

Those Three Little Letters–M.O.M.

There is nothing like those three little letters, M.O.M. The word mom can convey so much and it may depend on the particular circumstances at hand. For instance, the shrill sound of “MOM!” may cause a chill to pass through you, because it is the sound of your child being hurt or scared. Or it may be that the word mom is shrieked because little brother or sister has taken a toy away. It could also be said with a whine, as your child begins to beg for something. So the reality is that the word mom isn’t always welcomed. … Continue reading →

Resisting the Urge to Interfere

All last week my 14-year-old daughter was at camp, about 3 hours away from home. It was all middle school kids who were told to not bring their cell phones. Since I was in North Carolina, I missed that information at a parent meeting. So the next morning when I dropped her off at church, she mentioned her phone was low on battery but that she couldn’t bring the charger because she wasn’t supposed to really have it. Yes, just minutes before she is leaving. I didn’t make too much of it and said my goodbyes. It was hard having … Continue reading →

High School Behavior in Adults

High school behavior isn’t relegated just to teens. I have seen some of the same behavior that our teens struggle with, be just as much an issue with adults. I’m talking about when adults start to interfere in teen issues that should probably be left on their own. Parents who get overly involved in their teens lives not only prevent them from learning how to handle relational issues but they can quickly find themselves getting sucked into the same behavior we see in our teens. What I have learned is that I need to be very careful about what I … Continue reading →

Middle School Can Be Brutal

Middle school can be just brutal. And the funny thing is I always thought it was worse for girls. But my daughter is about to officially end her middle school years in just a couple of weeks. Although it hasn’t been problem-free, it has certainly been much better for her than it has been for my boys. I tend to think it is the fact she stayed in a K-8 school, while my boys went to middle schools. I could be wrong but all I know is that I will be glad when the next two years are over with. … Continue reading →

GivingTeens Space to Work Things Out

It’s really difficult when you know what the right thing to do is and you try to express that to your child, but they reject it. In fact, it’s downright frustrating but yet as a parent you know that sometimes you have to just let your child figure things out on their own. In my case it is an issue with a friendship, one that has existed since one of my children was a toddler. They have been best friends, growing up together both in the church and at school. We also live close to each other so they spend … Continue reading →

Do You Parent Out of Fear?

Do you know someone who parents out of fear? Perhaps you are that type of person. My mother was somewhat like that in her parenting. She would make some of her decisions based on what “might” happen. The world was a dangerous place (which is true to a degree) and so she tried to avoid my becoming a victim. The problem was that she never allowed me to really grow up the way I should have. In fact, when I met my husband I didn’t know how to cook or even how to drive. It took my husband teaching my … Continue reading →