Search Results for: blog what are your expectations of childhood

Lowering Expectations in a Marriage

There is a fine line between learning to lower your expectations in a marriage and when to fight for what’s “right.”  Keep in mind that what’s considered right is all about perspective. Your right might not be my right…just as your spouse’s right might not be your right. One of the ways I try to gauge my “rights” is by how critical the issue really is; not how important it should be or I would like it to be.  But looking at it in a realistic and selfless manner. That isn’t easy, believe me.  It requires stepping back from the … Continue reading →

Sticking to Your Punishments

I have a confession to make. I have a very difficult time sticking to my punishments. I am known to give a punishment to one of my children and after an apology, a hug or a kiss I have given in and revoked it. Granted there are times when grace needs to be dispensed but sometimes I just feel guilty. I feel like I am causing my child undue pain. While I know the real pain is that my children don’t always get to experience the consequences of their actions, I have somehow managed to twist things in my mind. … Continue reading →

What Are Your Expectations of Childhood?

Most of us come to parenting with all sorts of preconceived notions and ideas about how our family is going to be, what kind of parent we will make and our personal philosophies about discipline and such. Many of us find that our philosophies shift quite a bit with the realities of actually parenting the child or children that we are blessed with. I do think it helps, however, to take stock of what we expect out of the period of childhood—do we think that childhood is for worry-free play and experimentation? Do we think that childhood should be spent … Continue reading →

Be A Cycle Breaker

Sometimes as a mother, I look at my children and try to imagine them as teenagers. Even harder is trying to imagine them as adults. Will they ever understand how much I love them? Will they hold on to the negative things I did as a mother instead of seeing me for who I was striving to be? I worry all the time about the impact that I am having on them long-term. I don’t know if it is because of my own childhood, my psychology background, or my worrying nature, but I struggle every day with overcoming my self. … Continue reading →

I Want A Dog – Part 2

As promised, I’m continuing on in my exploration of the issue of bringing a pet into the family. Is there a “best time” to get a pet? If so, how do you know when that time has arrived? To find out more, I looked to animal experts for advice. The ASPCA web site is a wonderful resource for anyone considering getting a pet, whether or not you have children. On that site, I found a helpful guide to which pets are best for children in which age group. It probably goes without saying that infants can not take care of … Continue reading →

Fairytale Endings

As little girls we spent our days dreaming of that knight in shining armor who was going to sweep us off our feet. He’d lift us up onto that white horse of his and we’d ride off into the sunset to find a world of perfect children who always listened, were never dirty, and cleaned their rooms without ever being asked. There is never any laundry and the dishes are always clean. Then we grew up and had to find out for ourselves that life isn’t quite the fairytale we always dreamed of. My son rarely listens, is usually dirty, … Continue reading →

Taming Tantrums Part 1

Does your child start screaming the second you mention you’re going to the doctor’s? The dentist? The very moment you are on the phone? For my son it was daycare. I dreaded telling him when it was time to go. The tears started pouring and I literally had to drag him out to the car kicking and screaming. It was unbelievably draining and I wasn’t sure what to do. I had talked to every one I could think of and nobody seemed to know what to do about it. It’s taken a month and a half, but we are finally … Continue reading →

Running Away, or Running Toward?

My parents divorced after twenty-six years. It threw our family into a tailspin, but after the dust settled and we started to look at patterns and how it all could have come about, we identified many contributing factors. I’d like to share some of those factors with you. My mother was raised in an abusive home. She left for a time to go to college, but she knew that marriage was the only way she’d be able to leave permanently. My father was raised with the expectation that he was to get married, but without a more clear goal, such … Continue reading →

Being Balanced with Teen’s Grades

One of the things that I strive really hard for in parenting is to be balanced. I don’t claim to be perfect. In fact, I am far from it. However, I do make every effort I can to make sure things are fair and balanced. I think this has more to do with my own childhood. In some areas my parents weren’t very strict, like with my grades at school but then in other areas, they were over the top strict. An example would be telling me what I could go to college for. When I announced the field I … Continue reading →

When a Child Argues with Peers

Many of us have this idyllic vision of childhood friends—we picture our child wandering off into the field hand-in-hand with a best friend—happy, giggling, and best friends forever. The reality, however, is that children argue and fight too. Inviting a friend over for a play date can turn into a bicker-fest. As the parent in charge, is there anything we can do to cut back on the arguing or help our child learn how to communicate in other ways? First of all, arguing is not all bad. Sometimes, our child is working out all sorts of things in those arguments … Continue reading →