What's a Parent to Do?by Michele Cheplic | More from this Blogger 30 Sep 2008 11:54 PM How often do you think twice about allowing your child to ride his bike to a friend's home, around the block, or to the corner store? On a typical day (you know, the one that includes doing the laundry with one hand, carrying a cranky baby in the other, loading the dishwasher with your left foot while balancing on the right, and using your teeth to mend a stuffed toy) I would guess the majority of parents are simply happy that at least one child has found something to pass the time... and isn't it a shame he can't take the baby with him? On October 6, 2002 Shawn Hornbeck's parents didn't think twice when they gave him permission to ride his bike to a friend's house. And why would they? The 11-year-old boy had taken the same route for years by himself and what's more, the family lived in a quiet, tight-knit rural community with a population of less than 1,000 people. How would they have known that when Shawn turned down a gravel road in broad daylight on that sunny fall day he would be heading straight into the grip of a heinous kidnapper? By now I'm sure you've heard about the living nightmare Shawn and his parents went through during his disappearance. I happened to be a TV reporter on the job when Shawn disappeared and back then---before I was a parent---I remember thinking that there could be nothing more excruciatingly painful than not knowing where your child could be and if he or she was dead, alive, in pain, etc. Fast-forward six years. I am now a mom to a 4-year-old and a few days ago I watched in stony silence the interview Shawn did with Troy Roberts on CBS' "48 Hours Mystery." If you watched any portion of the show I highly doubt that you would be so willing to let your child bike off to his buddy's house... ever again. For those of you unfamiliar with Shawn story, in a nutshell, he was kidnapped by a pervert and was subjected to unimaginable daily physical and sexual abuse. In addition, the boy's life was threatened on a daily basis and in fact, according to the interview, on at least one occasion the monster that kidnapped Shawn tried to strangle him to death. "I've gone through some stuff that'll send psychiatrists insane," Shawn told Roberts in the interview. Shawn lived in terror for four years. "I'm not gonna lie, there was times when it seemed like I was better off dead than living through that," he told Roberts. In the meantime, Shawn's parents were sitting just an hour away from where their son's kidnapper had taken him feeling guilty for letting their son go out alone the day he was snatched. During the "48 Hours" interview Shawn's mom said at times she blamed herself. "I do feel that I failed on the part of protecting him. And keeping him safe and keeping him at home," Pam Akers told Roberts. One year gave way to two, then three, and four, yet Shawn's parents never gave up hope that they would find their son. When the official search for Shawn was scaled back, the Akers kept looking on their own using the money they got from cashing in their 401(k). In the end Shawn's sadistic abductor was caught after he snatched another boy, 13-year-old Ben Ownby. Both kids were reunited with their respective families, and are still trying to deal with the hell they experienced at the hand of the mad man who took them. Did you watch the "48 Hours" episode? When it was over I was left with a few thoughts: A. The amount of inexhaustible hope Shawn's parents displayed is beyond remarkable. B. Miracles really do happen. C. What impact does a story like this have on other parents? Do you let your child run free and hope for the best or do you keep them locked up in your home so as to decrease the chance they might end up like Shawn or Ben? Related Articles: A Father's Touching Tribute to His Infant Son Has Becoming a Parent Made You a Better Person? Can You Miss Your Kids Too Much? Learn more about Michele Cheplic  Michele Cheplic was born and raised in Hilo, Hawaii, but now lives in Wisconsin. Michele graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison with a degree in Journalism. Relevantparenting tags User Comments Samual (11722) 01 Oct 2008 05:22 AMI've been going to the shops etc on my own since I was four, our children can do the same.  Courtney Mroch (9169) 01 Oct 2008 07:16 AMI wonder if the parents knew deep down or sensed somehow that Shawn was still alive and that's how they were able to keep the faith? I don't have kids, but I get feelings about loved ones from time to time. Except for the time Wayne disappeared for four hours after his surfing injury, I've never lost anyone though. But those 4 hours were excruciating. As I walked up and down the beach scanning both shore and surf I had to face the fact he might have conked himself on the head with the surfboard and had drowned...but it didn't feel like he was "gone" in that way. Maybe they knew Shawn wasn't gone either. And I don't know if I did have kids how I'd feel about letting them go off by themselves. When I was little I did that all the time. I took the bus downtown, I rode my bike on the bike path to my sister's house some five miles away, I went to the mall by myself... I spent a lot of time alone from the time I was 10 on. Was I ever in danger? YES! I could have been abducted numerous times. On more than one occassion, I had men stop at the bus stop and ask if I wouldn't rather have a ride instead of waiting for the bus "seeing as how it was either too hot or too cold." The scariest time was when I had a young guy, maybe only 18, in a van block my way on the sidewalk and try to get me to get in. (Didn't force me, but was trying to cajole me with every trick he knew.) I was 12 at that time and every DANGER fiber of my being was screaming at me to stay as far away from him as I could. So that's what I did. On all those occasions. I don't know if it was my sense of self preservation or what, but I knew not to take rides from strangers. And it was that inner knowing more than my parents instructions that sent up the red flags. However, what if I had been snatched by force? I could control my own actions (not getting in someone else's car), but I doubt I'd have had the fight to battle anyone if they'd foricbly taken me. (I've always been scrappy though so I would have given them a fight if I'd had the chance!) I just don't know that I'd tempt fate if I had kids. BUT...it would depend where we lived. When we were in Alaska there were these little fisher boys who were going to be in the third grade. They had no qualms about running all over by themselves, or about talking to strangers. They lived in small town accessible only by sea or air. It was the kind of community like the one you described Shawn being in. I might let my defenses down in such a circumstance, but I'd think about this blog of yours ever after.  Michele Cheplic |
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