When Fairness Becomes Importantby Kori Rodley Irons | More from this Blogger 25 Oct 2007 09:49 PM With three kids very close in age, trying to keep things fair and equitable has always been a family priority. But, I have noticed that not all of my kids have been as focused on "fairness" and, as a matter of fact, recently my fifteen-year-old son has become very focused on what is and isn't fair-both within our household walls and out in the world at large. In doing a little research on child development, I find that this is a typical developmental process-trying to balance out what is going on in the world and around a person, with what seems fair and just. The truth is, however, that the world doesn't always fair so well when it comes to being just. We've all heard that worn out saying that "Life isn't fair." And, while it might be true, it can still be a developmental process for a growing and evolving child to figure out where fairness fits into the big picture. My son, for example, has become almost obsessed with evaluating things based on whether they are fair or not. And, not "fair" in terms of the big picture, either but in terms of even the smallest human interactions. As a parent, there is not much I can do to make the world suddenly seem like a fairer and more just place, but I can be available to talk things through and provide empathy and understanding. I find that my son really does want to talk about his observations as he struggles to figure out what his personal philosophies are and where he fits into the big picture. I am moved by the way he feels compelled to want to make things more just or find a way to bring more fairness into the world and I want to encourage that-without feeding into the natural black-and-white thinking of the teenager. Fairness is important, and compassion for the ways things can be unjust is also important, and it is also, I'm learning, a typical "growing up" process too. Also: It's All New to Them What Did You Expect Would Happen? Learn more about Kori Rodley Irons  Bio has been removed by administrator Relevantparenting tags User Comments maggie_may1977 (20) 26 Oct 2007 10:00 AMI completely agree with you. I am a huge advocate of Love and Logic and one of the main components is empathy. It is so important to let them know you love them and feel sad when they are sad. You can learn more about Love and Logic at www.loveandlogic.com. Community Tags behaviors, fairness, social awareness Discuss this article
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